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Pain. Lots and lots of pain.

General whiny grumpiness.

Like shit. Literally, like runny, diseased, stinking shit. Like if shit were a person, who had to wander around perpetually aware that they were made of shit, and infinitely worse than everyone else.

Conflicted.

Burn Notice Season Three; SI. It's not so much SI subject matter (the motives are totally different), but the visuals.

Some questions for you to consider (answer here if you feel comfortable): How does drinking relate to SI? How is SI not relapsing, if it's not that deep? I'm wondering if you're conflating 'less bad' with 'acceptable'. Because I can definitely see less harm being less bad. But I'm hesitant about the...

Why do you think drinking or pills would help? What kind of pills? I understand feeling like you can't find an answer right now. I'd like you to keep thinking about how you can find a solution eventually. Because sooner or later, it's good to reach the point of being able to cope with stress without...

Questions to Answer After A Slip slips are chances to learn. you figure out what stresses are still too hard for you and you can work on how you'll deal with them next time you run into them. so instead of beating yourself up, take action. have you taken care of your physical wounds? if not, go do ...

Sounds like you've managed to do a lot already. Good work. You can work your way up to caring less about other people's judgments.

Hi. It sounds like you've got a pretty good grasp on how temporary the relief will be, and how difficult it will be to deal tomorrow. You said you feel like crying. Would crying make you feel better or worse in the long run? Is there any reason you shouldn't cry? Taking time to yourself and limiting...

The reason I get so bothered when it sounds like people think I'm not really trying and could fix things if I just tried harder is because deep-down, I think they're right. I've got a definite lazy streak, and I do try to fight it, but not persistently, and not as hard as I should

I'm more likely to lie than hide things. I've never had anything people could tell was SI anywhere people were likely to see. And I've only got one SI scar.

I hope you figure out something that works for you, whatever it is.

I read dead Russian authors volumes at a time I write everything down except what's on that mind Because my greatest fear is that sucking sound And I know I'll never get back down And there's a bone in my hand that connects to a drink In a crowded room where the glasses clink I'll buy you a beer and...

Creatively frustrated.

I don't actually think writing's good for my mental health (based entirely on practical indicators), but when I'm writing-urgy and stuck for a few days, I get incredibly squirrly about it.

Still, the words won't come.

And You Will Know Us By The Trail Of Dead - Will You Smile Again Remember all the bad dreams Are not far from reality Would you write again for me? And who bade you stop this living art? Have you forgotten just what you are? If you don't want to then you could at least pretend That the paper's your ...

It sounds like you've put a lot of time and effort into understanding the reasons behind your SI, and what would feel like relief to you in those particular states. Unfortunately, it's mostly been put into finding unhealthy coping mechanisms, but there's still a lot you can use. If you find somethin...

It makes sense. I can see circular thinking in the whole "SI the right way" train of thought. SI done 'right' is defined as SI that gives you relief, and SI that doesn't give you relief is assumed to be not 'right' in some unspecified way. I read about a behavioral study on rats a while ago. They ha...

Hi. I'm here. I'm sorry you're feeling this way right now. Two questions. If cutting didn't provide the relief you sought before, what makes you think it will if you do it again? And, if it might not provide relief, does that change things? I'm saying this because you say all of the stuff about how ...

I'm glad it worked so well. Some things that seem really obvious to one person can turn out to be totally confusing to other people.

Good luck with your T!

Thanks for the answers. It gave me a much clearer view of your situation. Glad I could help. I understand that SI can make you feel more powerful, even when it doesn't make you more powerful. As long as you can recognize that it isn't true, it's useful to remind yourself of the fact. I'm wondering i...

Hi. I'm reading. I've got some questions. I will be more powerful. Will you be more powerful, or will you feel more powerful? Because I don't think SI gives you any power you don't already have. I will also be able to ask for help and it will be obvious that I need it. If you ask for help without SI...

Insecure. Tired.