bus

i am... tired i am not... going to sabotage myself i feel... tired? pit in the stomach - whatever feeling that is i want... clarity - but coffee's always good too i need... to stop dissassociating i have... a headache i love... still working on this one - but i'm trying i hate... the sun - nasty na...

it's something i've thought about before... i think the main one is that i'm so used to lying. growing up, it was safer to lie than to tell the truth. i guess in a lot of situations, lying was coping mechanism. and it's one i still use. i think another part is self-deception/denial. telling another ...

my depressed/concerned feelings would improve if i prayed and let what i can't control go

FRICKIN' SUN!!!!!!

ARRRRGH!

It's been awhile Since I could hold my head up high And it's been awhile Since I first saw you And it's been awhile Since I could stand on my own two feet again And it's been awhile Since I could call you And everything I can't remember As fucked up as it all may seem The consequences that I've rend...

my guilty feelings would improve if i got them out of my head

We are young But we have heart Born in this world as it all falls apart We are strong We don't belong Born in this world as it all falls apart I see the children in the rain like the parade before the pain I see the love, I see the hate, I see this world that we can make I see the life, I see the sk...

i am...
alive
sober

i am not...
in a good place

i feel...
dirty

i want...
to fuck myself up really good

i need...
to stay sober

i have...
six months sober
friends who care about me

i love...
damn - can't do that word. i like a lot of things...

i hate...
who i am

bad reputation - joan jett I don't give a damn 'bout my reputation You're living in the past it's a new generation A girl can do what she wants to do and that's What I'm gonna do An' I don't give a damn ' bout my bad reputation Oh no not me An' I don't give a damn 'bout my reputation Never said I wa...

from sprinklez's place: looks like you aren't the only chey around anymore

I'm bored of cheap and cheerful I want expensive sadness hospital bills, parole open doors to madness I want you to be crazy cos you're boring baby when you're straight I want you to be crazy cos you're stupid baby when you're sane I'm sick of social graces show your shark-tipped teeth lose your coo...

thanks...

still feel like crying

feel like crying...

but don't know how

fuck you

i want to hurt you so bad. i want you to feel the pain you forced on me.

FUCK YOU!

i don't where you live, but most places in the US anyone over 13 is allowed to gone in for antidepressants. i still think it would be best to try to involve your mom at least somewhat - but i'd understand if you didn't want to. i glad you haven't been cutting. great job on 8 weeks. :D have you tried...

i am...
tired
depressed

i am not...
suicidal

i feel...
dirty

i want...
to hurt myself

i need...
to think

i have...
time
space
tools

i love...
?
someday, i should try loving something...

i hate...
feeling worthless

that's my favorite dickinson

kat

i am... tired i am not... a manipulative bitch worthless i feel... like life is out of control i want... a drink everything to be simple i need... to keep busy to stay away from alcohol and SI i have... friends i can call good ways to cope i love... i don't know i hate... feeling out of control feel...