bus

D - Of course I had to pretend it was okay that you canceled last minute on me. Of course I couldn't show you how crushed and devastated I was. To be honest would hurt you, and I couldn't do that. But I am crushed. I needed to get out tonight. I needed to spend time with you tonight. Of course I can...

forgotten and insignificant

I miss you. I used to love seeing you, but now it just hurts to see you because thinking of the connection we used to have makes my heart ache. I wish you showed your care for me like you used to. Indifference hurts a lot. I wish you were there for me like you used to be. I feel forgotten and insign...

Wish I had something helpful to say, but I just wanted to say that I read. I totally can relate to the things you wrote. About change...to be at peace, to be in control, to feel secure and safe...the irony between SI and feeling safe. I understand not liking the change, the uncertainty, and the anxi...

I read. No advice, but I just wanted to let you know I read, and also to say that if you post this on the main board, you'll probably get more replies. A lot more people read and comment on the stuff posted there, and the Coping section frequented as often. Just a heads up. :) Welcome to bus, btw. :...

I got out of bed

tentatively calm

because I didn't want to have to deal with the annoyance of having to try and keep my arm dry in the shower tonight...

M: IT'S TOO MUCH PRESSURE!!! Please! Stop pressuring me...the weight of it is too heavy... I want to please you, but right now it's hard enough for me to just get myself through each day... Please...it hurts too much...it's too heavy...

It's too much, it's too much...

K: No, I'm not like that. It's just the mask I wear. You have no idea...no idea that I bleed so deep underneath. Sometimes I wish you did know. But would your arms be open, or would you walk away?

For a best friend who doesn't mind if I talk with her about my SI struggles, who listens with compassion, and then says, "If you lose a battle, remember that doesn't mean you've lost the war."

It's too much...I just wanna cry...

exhausted
miserable
stressed
overwhelmed

C: I lied to you. I'm really not "good." I wish you could see that... S: Yes, I really did want to talk last night, but I felt like it would be selfish of me to push the issue. So i stayed quiet. P: I can't believe you said those things to me...it was...so liberating. So freeing. I needed to hear th...

Name: Rachel Are you currently trying to stop or reduce SI: Stop If so what is your motivation: I can see how it’s hurting me emotionally, I am tired of being consumed by it, I’m tired of secrets, and I want to be happy again and don’t see how that’s really possible until I stop. I’m tired of feelin...

I'm proud of myself today because I got through lunch with two friends without wanting to run away, sob, and SI

queasy,
tired,
apathetic

i am... sad, tired, discouraged i am not... wanting to do anything today i feel... weary, depressed i want... hope, things to change, to exactly enjoy life, this headache to go away i need... someone to hold my hand and be there for me i have... to keep pressing on, no matter what i love... my best ...