bus

thank u muches!!!

can someone delete my place thread please? its titled "A place to just Relax and Be Me" i dont want to mess up everyones post count so u can just put it in the hidden trash can deal.

i am... a mother a wife a daughter an employee a drug addict a si'er a survivor i am not... a dope whore irresponsible using interested in ur bullshit i feel... edgy restless aimless impatient wound tight overworked lonely i want... to never use meth again to be a good mother to not have to worry ab...

even tho i feel u was in the wrong, it still freakin bothers me that i made you mad. and i think thats silly

i worry that even at my most healthiest, most normal, sanest point.....im still not well enough

Did the drugs counteract the SI? Meaning...did doing the drugs, for you, replicate the same feelings (in a way) that SI did/does? i dont think this question was meant for me but id like to answer it anyways, for myself if nothing else. to sort out the differences between the two. absolutely not. i ...

happy to report 6mnts sober today whooo hooooo do i miss drugs? well, of course. i dont imagine you live with something for 15 yrs and not feel the vancancy left behind when its gone. ppl who arent addicts might not understand this: I HATE DRUGS. i miss drugs. DRUGS MAKE ME FEEL TERRIBLE. drugs make...

yea i noticed the board and the chat were pretty seperate but it looked like perhaps mia does both?

yea it did stink, but im over it.

just fyi for any staff who might be interested, i went to bus chat a few weeks back...and felt really ganged up on. some of the chatters were rude and even made fun of me (and it was not in good fun, i promise). ive always enjoyed buschat but my last experience there upset me. definately not an envi...

to husband: there are so many things about me that you just dont *get* and it fucking pisses me off to no end

hmmm, well as for na, i really do enjoy when i can go long enough to begin to feel comfortable to share. which is like...... 3 or 4 monthes, lol. something about walking into a roomful of strangers who automatically know im an addict as soon as i walk thru the door is unnerving for me, so much so th...

Im not real sure but i thought maybe my thoughts in response to a drug craving may be distorted... if someone could tell me yes they are, and heres in what way then maybe i could work on that, answer those questions in the "automatic thought records" thread in coping...im looking for something to do...

i've used sex and masturbation both as ways to handle my emotions. if im angry i will have rough long exhausting sex. if im depressed i will want more cuddling, more tenderness. whats weird for me (mostly with drug use, not si. ) is that what started out as a symptom has taken on a life of its own a...

ive found something that has really been helping me not give in to cravings.... when i want to use i 1. identify why. i dont know if in the future i will develop a plan to avoid triggers, or different plans of action depending on the type of trigger, or what. i just know that it helps, for me, to kn...

tell me yours? (story i mean) you can pm me if you want. or not if you dont:) to update i've been clean since sat and ive turned it down several times since then and i cut ties with my connection and i made appt for drug counseling *crosses fingers* but the damn drug counseling isnt until the middle...

i am... so much more than what you see on the surface. i am not... angry at the world, weak, suicidal or hopeless i feel... sad, guilty, disappointed in myself. i want... to begin drug counseling. i need...more friends and less associates. i have...a wonderful husband, a nonjudgemental mother, and a...

to d- i know that you si...or at least that you used to. and you know that i do... or at least that i used to. so could we talk about it please? cuz i've never talked to anyone irl about my si and i would really like to. to c- you know what you did and i know what you did and i fucking hated you for...

i wish that i could see me the way others see me. i wish that certain words or topics did not pull my eyes to the floor and cause my jaw to clench. i wish that we (me, my hubby, my son) had enough money to pay all of our bills on time and not live in constant fear of having our electricity shut off ...

nice to find this thread...ive been looking for something like it. to share our stories and our victories? something like that? ive been drinking and using since i was 9. my silly daddy used to give me hydros when i would tell him i had a headache. i started realizing that they not only got rid of m...