bus

I feel anxious about my drawing assignment that's not finished, and irritated that there's no diet-friendly food in the house and upset with mself that i've had nothing but grains, pasta and muffin today. what i'm going to do about it: make myself finish the drawing... stop putting it off... I'll do...

No matter who is around me, no matter how much they care or I care about them, I still feel part of myself searching for someone i'm missing.

I feel fed up with hoping tomorrow will be any different. I feel fed up with realizing I tricked myself into hoping again and I was disappointed again.

To a friend: I know you're trying to be helpful but you and I just do NOT agree on the origins of the voices. Your insistence that they're "not good" even "evil" is hurting our feelings, but i'm not brave enough to tell you this. Dear stranger at the bookstore: Your credibility is directly proportio...

I had fun at my birthday

another secret:

My friend is laughing for the first time and ages, and if my dad comes out and tells them to stop just because it is 3 AM and we are outside his bedroom, I will throw many, many things at him and tell him to go to hell.

Last night I wished I didn't have to go to my own birthday party.

Today I think i've made peace with it.

I wish I didn't have a headache.
I wish I knew who I was missing so badly.
I wish I were home.

got out of bed
took a shower
ate healthy breakfast
read the bible

Before: More Before Questions To Answer Why do I feel I need to hurt myself? What has brought me to this point? I'm stressed about my friends who aren't doing well, and if I can cut and detach from everything, I won't be stressed and worried. And not stressed or worried means i'll be better equipped...

I worked on typing up/ reading Paradise lost
and I read my chapter of mythology today.
I ate two somewhat healthy meals
I took a shower

I have done that for the past year and I realized it is not nearly enough...

I feel so lost. I am going to break soon if I don't get some help.

I did research, showed it to the parents, and they finally told me last night that they didn't have the money and brushed me off.

No help is coming now.


...


What do you mean there is no ambulance?!

They don't do emails, says right on the site.

*sigh* it is the end of the week and the parents said they'd have found someone and set up an appointment by now but they haven't.

My cell phone wasn't going though with any 1-800 numbers. It went though for normal numbers, but either of the two helplines I tried didn't work! It connected for like one second and then the call ended, and I never heard any rings or anything. I don't know what to do about this? I want to call from...

Thank you.

I am looking at the link. I want to call the number, but my family is around.

I could take the cell phone and go hang out somewhere in the undeveloped part of the neighborhood. I may do this.

Thank you...

I am getting increasingly agitated and paranoid. I know i need to do something, but the longer I wait the harder it gets.

Just turned 16. And I'd have to make an appointment and drive over an hour to get to the other campus to talk to the personal wellness counselor the collage has. Not going to happen. I am so paranoid. I shut down when people I know well ask me difficult questions, like my family or my friends. I don...

I am alone but not alone:



I want to be here

I am in collage now. There isn't a school counselor.

There is a Personal Wellness Consultant or something like that, but I would have to make an apointment, and drive over an hour to main campus. <_< not going to happen.

Someone, please, answer this? I want things to change for the better but I don't know how. I'm tired of sitting around hoping that I'll just feel better out of nowhere without doing anything about it.

I don't know, perhaps I could try that... but I don't know. I dont think I could talk to her about that. My mom is always in the room, and I hate talking about anything like that in front of my parents.