bus

I will explode so stop pushing me to the limit.
I don't deserve it.

too numb to function

I'm more suicidal at the moment than I have been in 5 years.

fuck you all for hurting a 6 year old girl. I hope some of you are fucking dead now 14 years on.
And mum, I'm really beginning to hate you for your part in this. You fucking put me in the car with them. Argh. How can you expect me to fucking forgive you for all that you have done?

I do have hopes and I do have dreams for the future even though the way I act it may not seem that way. I want you to be a part of them but I'm scared to tell you that. I'm terrified of rejection.

M - you were wrong.

Confused and very tearful

I hope you'll still love me tomorrow.

I made a formal complaint to PS about how I've been treated recently.

totally lost

I've got myself a job taking photos for my old drama school.
And I've finally made plans to see a friend whom I haven't seen in a long time next week.

D - you'll never mature or grow up. Everyone was right about you all along. Meh, that's all I can say. Maybe in a few months you'll realise what you really lost.

confused. Just confused.

Fuck off and leave me alone.
I've stopped even listening to you now. Just stop.

I'm sorry that you are having to go through this again. Our family doesn't need this again, I hope today will go as well as can be.
I'm sorry that I talk even less than I used to. I wish I could tell you the truth.

I got through the hospital.

I got through a difficult doctors appointment.
I got 3 more orders on my jewellery website.
I'm through to the next stage of a competition for an arts grant.

You push me to the edge, and I'm expected to take it. I'm tired and I've had enough. You can fix it, because I won't this time.

Emotionless

gone