bus

I'm sorry that I never got to tell you again that I love you before you SUed. I feel like its my fault. Was it my fault? Did you SU because I was such an awful person? I wish you were here now to answer all of my questions. I wish I could give you one last hug. I hope you died knowing that I still l...

Just when I think I can't cry another tear, here comes a whole new stream of tears.
I just can't stop thinking about you.

I still think of you everyday.

And everyday I find myself in tears at the thought that i might have messed up my life.

I do still have feelings for you, but im trying to let you move on so that you dont have to deal with me anymore.
I know I just keep hurting you. You deserve so much better.

I'm worried i will not make it the entire summer without him. I'm worried that i will disappoint people if I si again after going so long without it. I'm worried that my roommate next fall is going to hate me, even though we are friends. I'm worried that I'm not going to see my family enough this su...

Try to be stronger than your urge. Try the 15 minute technique or however many minutes you think you can handle. It goes like this: when you feel urgey, look to your list and think about what you could do instead of cut. Time yourself for how long you want to make your goal of not cutting. Say it is...

Im worried you won't love me for me.
Im worried that you will leave me like all the others have.
I worry about you.
I worry that i make things worse for you.
I worry that I will do something wrong.

*cries*

i am so urgey right now, but cant cry out loud.

Right now i feel really depressed. I recently found out my favorite teacher died, and i have been crying ever since (about five hours). My eyes hurt and burn, my stomach hurts and I am extremely tired. I feel so sad that she died, and I am trying so hard not to cut because she was so into helping me...

I worry that doctors are going to find something else is wrong with my grandpa and I worry that i won't be able to handle that.

:argggh: :argggh: :argggh: :argggh: :argggh: :argggh: :argggh: :argggh: :argggh: :argggh: :argggh: :argggh: :argggh: :argggh: :argggh: :argggh: :argggh: :argggh: :argggh: :argggh: :argggh: :argggh: :argggh: :argggh: :argggh: :argggh: :argggh: :argggh: :argggh: :argggh: :argggh: :argggh: :argggh: :ar...

I'm sorry you guys. I know you will never forgive me completely. I have probably ruined your lives, but i hope you will love me all the same. I have changed I promise.

I totally agree only i find myself the worlds biggest hypocryte (sp?).
At the end of the day I cant find humor in anything.

nauseous
NUMB: im really tired of this feeling (is it really a feeling?)

Hey i read, and hope you are feeling less like a "loser" becasue you aren't one. It was a smart decision on your part. I mean its a hard habit to stop once you are addicted plus it is expensive. I hope you stay strong on other decisions that you will encounter as you grow up. Cuz you know there will...

I'm proud of myself because I didn't fight with my sister or my brother. I'm also proud of myself because I didn't cut today.

Mom: I hate you. You don't care about me no matter what you say i won't believe you. Everytime I start to trust you, you let me down again. I've learned to just stop trusting you. Honestly, i don't know if i truly love you. I mean how can i love someone who doesn't care what the hell i do or if i SI...

Congrats!!!!

Welcome to BUS. I'm pretty sure that people here will understand you. They understand me very well.

Hope you are still doing well.
Keep it up!

I hope that one day my family, especially my sister, will learn to accept me.

I hope i don't mess up any more relationships.