bus

too much attention onme for my bday and grad


:(

Tiger Army There is a rose in the Devil's garden In shadow it grows alone Many things are dangerous now In this garden we call home Be careful as you make your way Some things are poison to the touch You've spent your life here in this place You long to run away so much My love it is a black rose (m...

My shadows Shedding skin and Ive been picking Scabs again. Im down Digging through My old muscles Looking for a clue. Ive been crawling on my belly Clearing out what couldve been. Ive been wallowing in my own confused And insecure delusions For a piece to cross me over Or a word to guide me in. I wa...

i'm worried about feeling as bad as i was 2 months ago. im worried about giving in this week.. im worried once i start this new course i wont be able to get enough sleep before class. im worried i wont actually grad this year. im worried aboutwhat will happen if i ask someone for help when im feelin...

I'm sweating and breathing and staring and thinking I'm sinking deeper and it's almost like I'm swimming The sun is burning hot again on the hunter and the fisherman And I'm trying to remember when, but it makes me dizzy Seems like I've been here before, seems so familiar Seems like I'm slipping int...

i wanted to SI last night and i didnt. ..although it felt like more of a "want" then a "need" too kind of thing... i was still close.

didnt use the box cutter i found in my room the other day.....

i knew if i was alone last nighti would SI. so i got together with some friends instead/

1 week until 3 months
i went for a 3 hour walk yesterday

the main reason i have been holding off SI lately, is becuase i fear i'll take it further then i ever have before..

i made plans to get out of the house rather then sit and dwell

because mt new goal is a month AND a week
becuase my boyfriend would be disapointed
i have no wirstband to cover it right now...
.. my scars are so ugly

i havnt SIed in a month, but all i can think about is next time i will do it..
ive been meening to open up to friends but i just cant. i feel crazy. and just unfunctionaly out of it. i wish these bad moods would go away.. i wish i could sleep better and get things done. im useless

im proud i made it to school. i kept my promise not to SI today... i made a pretty picture.. I DIDNT SI :)

the last 2 years during the xmas break i didnt give in even though i wanted to so bad. i have to do it again... i wont hide marks during xmas

i already fuked up laast week and have 2 shitty new scars..

when i went to bed years ago planning to kill myself the next day, you showed up randomly at my window the next morning. you saved me

when i went to your funeral, i remember thinking, "you were supposed to go to my funeral"

your my best friend. things will never be the same without you..

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------- i am... getting older i am not... crazy i feel... tired. conflicted i want... to sleep forever i need... some food. to sleep more. to take care of myself. to finish school i have... an awesome boyfriend. my cat. funny f...

im depressed.

i slipped after a month..
no one knows i slipped..
no one knows about the SI...
i feel like if no one knows, because im hiding it so good, whats the difference?

.nothings going to change.

comming to your house has made me feel better before. just knowing that your there, and your still smiling. i can see her smile in your face. i know that each of us is the closest thing we have to her... i couldnt bring myself to call you back about the babysitting. ive done it before. and ive been ...

friends
boyfriend
cat
drawing