bus

i don't understand this stupid paper topic!!! it's so frustrating!!!!!!

groggy

for really simple stuff (like just adding different text effects) i use picnik.com.

hey V,
every time you call me "dear" or "dear one," i completely melt.
i want to tell you to stop because you can't get that close to me.
but i love being something to you.
keep saying it.

As for the crushing feeling, it's been there since I realised that my mum knew about the abuse that my dad inflicted on me. I always hoped that she would save me if she only knew what was going on. I feel like I wasn't worth saving. That I'm a person that even a mother couldn't love. And I'm even m...

munchalot11 wrote:AND YOU WONDER WHY I WANT TO MOVE OUT?!?!?!?!

ditto.

hey, zaphriel. i hope it's okay that i reply to this. if not, feel free to ignore it. you sound pretty overwhelmed, and even a bit panicked. when i'm feeling like that, i find it easier to deal with things after i've calmed down and all the thoughts and emotions aren't crushing me anymore. i know it...

i wish i was young enough to have someone sit with me while i sip gatorade and nibble on saltine crackers. i hate being sick, but apparently, at twenty-one i should be old enough to handle a stomach flu on my own. more than that, i wish my friend v would drive over to sit with me. i miss him terribl...

^^ :1hug: if okay. hey, v. thank you for being such an amazing friend to me. i wish i could've hung out with you for independence day, but it didn't work out. i'm sorry. i feel like there are many things you don't know about me, but you've gotten glimpses of them. my clingy, needy side. the part of ...

hey.
i really miss you. i miss being with you. i'm so excited to see you tonight.
i just hope this isn't a huge disappointment like the last time i saw my friends. it was a different group, but i'm still worried. i want you to miss me like i'm missing you.
please, v. please be excited to see me.

bad memory:
i was lying in my bed shaking so hard because my stepdad and sister were arguing and screaming in the hallway.

good memory:
falling asleep on the beach, watching the stars with my best friend as she tried to find all the constellations.

and 1. every time i meet a new guy, my first thought is if a relationship between us would work. i feel like this labels me as "desperate," and i worry that i'll run off with the first guy that actually pays attention to me. 2. whenever people compliment me, i think they're lying, or just being nice...

Licentia Poetica wrote:I am a bottomless pit of reassurance need. To satisfy my craziness I would need you to enthusiastically tell me how much you love me every single minute of every day forever. And even then, I don't think I'd ever believe it.

this.

quiet.

tired, but fighting sleep.

i hate this.
fuck all of you.
i'm not coming back home this semester.
and you're insane if you think i'm coming back this summer.

you made fun of me in jest.
i stepped forward to push you away.
i didn't think you'd step away from me before i could reach you.

at this moment in time, i just need some human contact.

tired, but content.

upset.
disappointed with the way things panned out today.
homesick.
lonely.
angry at the things outside my control.

i don't know how i got here.
to being somewhat healthy. to being almost normal.

why do i want to throw that all away now?