bus

I worked out even though I was tired
Turning this (physically) shitty way I'm feeling into a positive (die spirochetes die!!!)
Letting myself take a step back and look at things around me more realistically

stupid
worthless
worried
tiny

I don't think I'm cut out for this, part of me thinks I should just drop out now...

fuck off... just fuck off Yeah I know, I'm being a fucking little bitch- but guess what, the reason I waited until now was because of you! I was trying to be respectful- you knew they were coming, you knew what that entailed- now I'm gonna get the fucking flack and the fucking shit from them! Yeah i...

empty
sad
depressed
su
like a burden
hurt
upset
like a failure

Before: Before You Self-Harm write down the shadow that's hiding behind the urge. look at it. ask yourself: how will this situation or feeling change if i hurt myself? It won't there's no way out anyway- what will hurting myself bring to the situation? what will it take away from the situation? it w...

helpless
hopeless
dumb
like a jerk
like I shouldn't be upset
in pain (physically and emotionally

sick, and stupid because I caused it.

Before: Before You Self-Harm write down the shadow that's hiding behind the urge. look at it. ask yourself: how will this situation or feeling change if i hurt myself? in the moment the feelings will be outside, the situation will stay the same overall with cutting/ or pills what will hurting myself...

Before: Before You Self-Harm write down the shadow that's hiding behind the urge. look at it. ask yourself: how will this situation or feeling change if i hurt myself? I will feel... thats all I want, I'm hurting so bad about so many things the revenge/ at war sense that I have with myself will be s...

Before: Before You Self-Harm write down the shadow that's hiding behind the urge. look at it. ask yourself: how will this situation or feeling change if i hurt myself? it will get better, or at least feel better for at least a short period of time what will hurting myself bring to the situation? wha...

fucking dumbass bitch I know more about psychology than your stupid ass so stop trying to say it's all in my head and do your damn job! Hell I'm starting to believe that I may know more about medicine than you considering I can see that this little number says its too high and this little number say...

I hate you, I hate you I hate you. I hate you more than b right now, why the fuck would you tell him that, what are you fucking proud of it huh. I'm your sister you bastard!

I woke up super early and actually got homework done! And I ate breakfast

thats a good idea, taking that frustration and making a point of taking care of myself... Tea is good, I could also plug in my headphones and play my keyboard (then I can bang away also). Oh something else that is a little silly but maybe is hugging my big teddy bear... I think the depression is cau...

After: Questions to Answer After A Slip slips are chances to learn. you figure out what stresses are still too hard for you and you can work on how you'll deal with them next time you run into them. so instead of beating yourself up, take action. have you taken care of your physical wounds? if not, ...

When I was little I hoped something would happen to me like being really sick so I could be the special one

Now I have something going on but don't want to tell because I don't want the sympathy

God I hate Kaiser! Why can't you do the friggin tests huh what the heck is a rhumologist anyway. I'm sick of the run around I'm not gonna bother I'm not gonna get anywhere anyway fuck it all. I don't give a damn anymore. I'm just a fucking lousy person anyway. I'm not gonna get anywhere with this ma...

What the hell its almost midnight and you decide your gonna shave or what the fuck ever? What don't you get about my room being right next to the bathroom? What don't you get about me needing to get up early? I know you plan on getting up at the same fucking time I do, you ask and then go do whateve...

what's wrong with me