bus

I haven't hurt myself today.
I was able to stop myself from yelling at a teacher.
I ran a mile on my treadmill instead of throwing up.

Sort of...we started to work on a sort of safety-plan thing, which includes things like writing and coloring pictures and talking to people, but so far none of those things are working really well for me, so the next time I see her we're going to revise it a little I guess. I'll probably also look a...

It's a really stupid secret, but...I accidentally ripped the hem off my little brother's pants

There's really nothing I can do to get control of the situation i'm in right now, but i talked to my therapist yesterday, so I feel a bit better about everything. I still don't know what to do from here though.

how will this situation or feeling change if i hurt myself? It will make me feel better about it...I'll feel like I got what I deserve... what will hurting myself bring to the situation? what will it take away from the situation? It'll bring a sense of self-control, but then later that goes away an...

Depressed, feeling like SHing, and worried about going to school tomorrow.
What I'll do: I'll try to do other things to distract so that I don't SH tonight, and just try not to worry about school, and study for my test.

I've only thrown up once today, and I haven't SIed yet.

Inspired and creative...but lazy and not wanting to do anything
Panicked...I know I'm forgetting SOMETHING, but I'm not sure what it is
Chilly
Hungry
Pissed off
cheated
a bit paranoid
abandoned

I hate all of you too...so don't write my god-damned name down to prove your damn little point that i'm not one of you stupid fuckers...it doesn't matter anyway. You're fucking pathetic

I put other, just because it really depends on what mood I'm in before I start excercising...usually when I'm really depressed I dont' want to even move, but once I do I feel better sometimes. Other times it doesn't work so well and I end up SIing any way.

That's a really great idea!

how will this situation or feeling change if i hurt myself? Hopefully the feeling will go away long enough to where I can sleep tonight without crying all night...as for the situation...it won't change anything. what will hurting myself bring to the situation? what will it take away from the situat...

I made things sort of work with this one person at school...
I haven't yelled at anyone yet today...
I actually participated in my body conditioning class...
and I didn't SI last night or yet today

Hope you feel better soon

I had a long talk with the Marilyn Manson poster I have on my wall, and i got to thinking about something else, and I guess I just decided against it for the moment. ...plus I always feel so guilty about it later...

so sleepy...

You don't care...you just want me back so you can fuck me. I hate you so much right now, and if you dont' know why it's your own damn fault because all of my friends figured it all out even before I broke up with you. Don't you remember what you did to me? Don't you remember what you fucking did?! I...

You didnt' care jack-shit about me...you just wanted me for it and i gave it to because I thought I loved you and I though you loved me. Now I'm alone, and you have another girl you "love". Even though I broke up with you, you still broke my heart. I gave you my everything, heart, mind, and body, an...

sick as i still have a bit of a cold at the moment
depressed
sleepy