bus

I didnt' SI today even though it was really stressful
I added one new food and didn't panic
Instead of b/ping anymore, I went on a walk to the park

I have lots of scars and don't want to hurt the people who care about me like that any more.

sick with heartburn and nausia
guilty
worthless
lonely

depressed and lonely

Books I can think of at the moment,
"Willow" SI
"Perfect" ED
"Skin Game" SI
Movies...
"Saw II" (and probably some of the other saw movies) SI
"Strangeland" SA, gore
"Painful Secrets" (I think that's what the movie's called" SI


Can't think of any more off the top of my head...

I feel restless and uncomfortable...on edge I suppose, thoguh I'm not sure why

Instead of getting high I went for a walk

Both tired and out of it and jittery

Um, this is hard...I didn't buy more cigarettes today and I went on a walk with a friend at night, I haven't SIed or anything also today and I cleaned the kitchen (though there's so much that I'm not proud of).

so confused

depressed, anxious and really tired

*Drugs a bit*
I'm terrified to talk to people on the phone, yet I have no problem calling my dealer to get drugs

scared

Why can't you understand that when I"m anxious and feeling upset you can't say those things to me because it causes flashbacks? Do you really care about me at all?

Please stop. You have no idea how uncomfortable you make me when you talk like that...I want to crawl in a hole and hide. I've told you before what's wrong with me and you still keep saying these things to me. I don't want to stop being friends, but if you don't stop then I can't fathom how we can s...

Scared, hopeless and paranoid, desiring a way out of this hell.

I feel out of touch with reality and it's terrifying

paranoid, upset, anxious, depressed

though paranoia has been extremely bad, I havent' SIed

Please help me...

You have a gf, so leave me alone!