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I am feeling self-destructive and Useless right now. I am having extreme problems with validating my self-worth. There are too many thigs to deal with on a emotinal level right now and I feel like I might shut down. I have fought this for so long, trying so hard not to relapse and recoil into myself...

*Comments welcome PM please SI, SU Triggs...... -I often think about SU but I do not want my wife to have to make that phone call to my mother -I embrace my misery because I am afraid without it I will not be able to feel at all -I play rough with my cat sometimes so he will scatch me and make me bl...

.....I woke up with a heavy heart so I went back to bed to try to start over.....I called a freind that I have been neglecting for a long time........I cooked a nice vegitarian meal for my family.......and I told my wife how important she is to me......


I like this thread

D.

weak
vulnerable
tired
hopeful
helpless

poud that I hawe gone another day SI free
scared that I might slip.

thanful that I have this list when need it

D.

.....because
even though it is hard
I made through another
day without hurting
myself.


D.

"Hate Me" Blue October

HATE ME TODAY
HATE ME TOMMORROW
HATE ME FOR ALL THE THINGS I DIDN'T DO FOR YOU
HATE ME IN WAYS
YEAH WAYS HARD TO SWALLOW
HATE ME SO YOU CAN FINALLY SEE WHAT'S GOOD FOR YOU

Right now I am feeling vulnerable
and weak.
Hurt.
Overloaded.
Lost.