bus

i'm proud of myself today because i emailed a counsellor to set up an appointment.

Hisforever <><

i say i hate him and i want nothing to do with him but thats just my way of protecting myself - i want him to be proud of me more than anything in this entire world.

**edited to add - comments are okay and are actually really appreciated**

your email while i am sure you thought it was very nice and supportive freaked me out more than i can tell you... things will never be the same again

desperate

I say "I love you" all the time to you - but I don't really mean it.

i did it myself.

Hisforever <><

PM sent to taintedrozebud29

PM sent to Marley73

walking at night with snow falling peacefully

Hisforever <><

pm sent to "iiilizium"

PM sent to Duckiekisses

like the world is crashing in around me
fucked up
unable to deal with stuff
fat
ugly
completely unloved and worthless

I am here, just joined the welcome wagon... but look forward to being involved.

Hisforever <><

I feel very vulnerable and dirty at the moment.

Hisforever <><

- sorry i disappoint you so much, sorry i am not like her.... an infinite number of sorries, i know they don't help with anything but i truly feel like you deserve them and someone better than me. i will never amount to anything, you are right about that, and right about so many other things. you kn...

spending a weekend with just my Mom

vulnerable
violated
unsafe

the closest I have felt to being safe is in my bed curled up under my covers, when some people hug me, and when I am holding my dog

i am proud of myself today because I talked to my sister (she and I don't get along at all)

pathetic
incredibly F**ked up
lonely