bus

bored.tired.alone.sad.cynical.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!

I HATE HIDING ALL OF THIS!!!!!!!!!!! I HATE BEING ALONE
ANNNNNNNNNNND
I HATE THAT I CAN'T FEEL ANYTHING

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


*better*

i also can't cry. sometimes i'll try.... because i think it would help a lot.... and i'll drink a bunch of water and then sit alone in the dark and i'll be able to get about a tear out. ....one day.

anti si: :star: drawing on myself with a red marker... it gives me time to think :star: check e-mail/forums :star: try to sleep/pretend to sleep until i can :star: making cookie dough :star: writing :star: music / practicing :star: wearing long sleeves and being around people that i don't want to se...

because:
last night i told one of my best friends that i SI. I'm trying to get better.
i was too tired.
it's hot outside. so hot! and i've been wearing long sleeves for three years.