bus

G: Im sorry im not with it right now, I know im a rubbish g/f but I will get there I promise
O: Pls talk to me, Im here waiting you just need to say. Im sorry im not there more

oh i had these as a child, they were magical.
Whispers:
Im worried what will happen with my gdad, and how they will cope
Im worried I will fail at this
i worry one day he'll give up on me and go

I know you dont understand me sometimes and yes Im weird but there is method in how i think sometimes, and Im trying hard, just want someone to make this all go away. I need you to be there and be grown-up for me.

i am... nervous, real, crying i am not... stupid, that negative i feel... scared, alone, overwhemeled i want... a hug, someone to look after me, to know it will be ok i need... reassurance, sleep i have... a b/f who cares, a brave bro i love... G, my family, i hate... the way i feel, way i seem over...

I managed to look after everyone and they all had a good time (I think...)

Im scared your not telling me the truth about how things are.
I want to hurt soo much but it feels wrong when i know your there.
I wish someone would look after me sometime, as im slowly falling apart.

exhausted, i love looking after you all but today im running on empty

Because i used other thigns to cope rather than cutting

Pls dont think that bad of me, Im not that negative honest. Im brave for everyone else not crying, going there when Im scared. I need somewhere to say what's going on im my head or I'll fall apart. But I'm not that harsh honest.

I want to hurt and drink till it all goes away.
I hate what is happening and I can't do anything
Im not coping I just dont know what to do about it

:argggh: :argggh: :argggh: :argggh: :argggh: :argggh: :argggh: :argggh: :argggh: :argggh: :argggh: :argggh: :argggh: :argggh: :argggh: :argggh: :argggh: :argggh: :argggh: :argggh: :argggh: :argggh: :argggh: :argggh: :argggh: :argggh: :argggh: :argggh: :argggh: :argggh: :argggh: :argggh: :argggh: :ar...

Im scared and I have no right to be, its not me going through this and yet all I want to do it cut, your selfish. Its jst so sad and unfair why him, why, why ,why. I jsut want to get drunk and forget it all for an hour is that so bad??

I'm scared and I'm sad and angry have no where safe to cry

ANGRY
sad
frustrated
teary
si
tired

SCARED!!

I'm scared, why do things like this happen, I'm too far away to help, even though I couldn't do anything there. It's not fair why! I want to si just so I have some control again. Little things are all a big deal right now

im scared,

scared
sad
upset
frustrated

I wish i hadn't si'd and know that look on my b/f face when he notices.
I wish I was a better person
I wish I know where he was right now