bus

honestly, its my own stubborness that makes me try.......its weird, because no matter how much i want to give up on everything, its like part of me won't let myself.........

*i wish my past would just leave me alone* * i wish I could just wake up and find out all my life up until now has just been one horrible nightmare* *I wish this overbearing pain would just go away* *I wish i didn't have PTSD* *I wish I was loved* *hell, I wish I was loveable* *I wish I was skinny* ...

*cries because the flashbacks are so bad and I just hurt so bad tonight*

thanks for making a place where its ok to cry....with everyone else crying it doesn't feel weak to cry in here.

*i'm trigger warning this right from the beginning* . . . . . . ODing used to be the way I dealt with everything.......everything.....when things got out of control i'd just reach for a bottle of pills.......i've never had to go to the hospital but once I was sick for three weeks straight....its not...

coping is a concious hard desicsion to try to stay away from things that hurt me

coping is getting through the day