Before

tools to help you assess your urges before you give in to them, and to help you understand and learn from slips after they happen. by posting here, you're saying that you are serious about exploring the feelings behind your self-harm in depth, whether you're ready to stop hurting yourself or not. to request posting access, click usergroups above and join before and after.

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Akor
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Joined: Mon Sep 01, 2008 4:58 am
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Before

Post by Akor » Fri Jul 01, 2016 3:52 pm

Before:

Before You Self-Harm
write down the shadow that's hiding behind the urge. look at it. ask yourself:
  • how will this situation or feeling change if i hurt myself? slow things down a bit
  • what will hurting myself bring to the situation? what will it take away from the situation? slow my thoughts/emotions down. I'll take away a short break from racing thoughts and maybe centered for a few seconds, but also some guilt
  • how do i want to feel about this in the long run? is hurting myself likely to get me closer to or farther from feeling that way? I need to calm down and just clear my head. I don't know.
  • if hurting myself seems like my best option right now, how long will the relief it brings last? what will i do then? it will last less than a minute. I'd like to say I'd move on, but probably would do more.
  • what is something i could do now instead of hurting myself? how will it change the situation i'm in? how long will that change last, and what will i do then? go to where I am now in the forest, listen to everything, hike around, surf bus website.
    Hopefully get my thoughts under control.
  • how will i feel tomorrow if i hurt myself? how will i feel tomorrow if i do the other thing i came up with? I'd feel angry at myself. Other, I'd feel like I made it one more day
  • what do i really want to do right now? how can i best honor the self-protective instinct that has me wanting to self-injure right now?
just walk away from everything. I can best honor it by surfing here until things pass or keep hiking deeper


urges aren't necessarily the enemy. they happen for reasons, and they're an expression of a desire to stay alive and stay sane and keep coping. remember that.

More Before Questions To Answer
  • Why do I feel I need to hurt myself? What has brought me to this point? just overloaded, can't process things
  • Have I been here before? What did I do to deal with it? How did I feel then? yes. Same things I'm doing now.
  • What I have done to ease this discomfort so far? What else can I do that won't hurt me? Spent time playing bus games as a distraction, called a hotline, went to the woods. I don't know
  • How do I feel right now? Feeling a little better, more numbish I guess, less thinking
  • How will I feel when I am hurting myself? Like everything else has just stopped for a bit
  • How will I feel after hurting myself? How will I feel tomorrow morning? probably the same or worse. Like a failure
  • Can I avoid this stressor, or deal with it better in the future? can't avoid it, trying to handle it better, just stuck right now
  • Do I need to hurt myself?
I don't Need to, I might want to, but I don't Need to right at this moment


Remember you don't have to answer all the questions if you don't feel up to it.
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