write down the shadow that's hiding behind the urge. look at it. ask yourself:
- how will this situation or feeling change if i hurt myself?
I'll feel better briefly, then super depressed and anxious. The anxiety will last for days and I'll end up worse off than now. - what will hurting myself bring to the situation? what will it take away from the situation?
It will bring pain and take away my sense of strength. - how do i want to feel about this in the long run? is hurting myself likely to get me closer to or farther from feeling that way?
I want to feel God-conscious and strong. SI'ing at this point will put me farther away from those feeling-. - if hurting myself seems like my best option right now, how long will the relief it brings last? what will i do then?
The relief will last an hour at most. But, as much as I love feeling numb for an hour, I will eventually come down from the high and feel miserable. And I won't know what to do. - what is something i could do now instead of hurting myself? how will it change the situation i'm in? how long will that change last, and what will i do then?
Play with my dolls. Read fanfiction. Watch a TV show on Youtube. Watch Markiplier's "Drunk Minecraft" videos (my absolute favorite). - how will i feel tomorrow if i hurt myself? how will i feel tomorrow if i do the other thing i came up with?
Well, if I cut, tomorrow I'll have to explain it to BOTH my counselor and my therapist. I don't want to have to go through telling the whole story twice. - what do i really want to do right now? how can i best honor the self-protective instinct that has me wanting to self-injure right now?
urges aren't necessarily the enemy. they happen for reasons, and they're an expression of a desire to stay alive and stay sane and keep coping. remember that.
More Before Questions To Answer
- Why do I feel I need to hurt myself? What has brought me to this point?
I had a rough session with my AA sponsor, and while I made some progress, there are still things I need to talk about with her. - Have I been here before? What did I do to deal with it? How did I feel then?
I've been here many times before. I usually cut, and that doesn't make anything better. I felt horrible after cutting. THe anxiety was massive and lasted for days. - What I have done to ease this discomfort so far? What else can I do that won't hurt me?
I've been posting all over bus. Also I lit some incense and am treating myself to a soda (yes, I know the caffeine is bad, but I wanted a treat). - How do I feel right now?
Lost. Angry. Scared. Hurt. Guilty. Lonely. Exhausted. Emotional. - How will I feel when I am hurting myself?
Numb. - How will I feel after hurting myself? How will I feel tomorrow morning?
Right after, I'll just feel numb. But tomorrow I will have massive anxiety. - Can I avoid this stressor, or deal with it better in the future?
Not really. It was my 5th step and those are always hard. - Do I need to hurt myself?
Remember you don't have to answer all the questions if you don't feel up to it.
Hey, anything is better than cutting, even if it's sleeping for 11 hours.