Before

tools to help you assess your urges before you give in to them, and to help you understand and learn from slips after they happen. by posting here, you're saying that you are serious about exploring the feelings behind your self-harm in depth, whether you're ready to stop hurting yourself or not. to request posting access, click usergroups above and join before and after.

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candor
meeting the neighbors
meeting the neighbors
Posts: 273
Joined: Sun Feb 22, 2015 4:59 pm
Gender: female

Before

Post by candor » Wed Mar 25, 2015 3:12 am

Before:

Before You Self-Harm
write down the shadow that's hiding behind the urge. look at it. ask yourself:
  • how will this situation or feeling change if i hurt myself?
    I feel as if hurting myself will ease the stress and anxiety.
  • what will hurting myself bring to the situation? what will it take away from the situation?
    It will bring fulfillness and relief. It will take away my hurt and feelings.
  • how do i want to feel about this in the long run? is hurting myself likely to get me closer to or farther from feeling that way?
    I feel like this will pass eventually. Hurting myself would get me farther from feeling like everything will pass.
  • if hurting myself seems like my best option right now, how long will the relief it brings last? what will i do then?
    It will last a few days. I will try and find something else to do to help myself.
  • what is something i could do now instead of hurting myself? how will it change the situation i'm in? how long will that change last, and what will i do then?
    Reading or journaling. It will last maybe an hour. I will still want to hurt myself, I'm not sure if I would give in or keep trying to busy myself.
  • how will i feel tomorrow if i hurt myself? how will i feel tomorrow if i do the other thing i came up with?
    I will be satisfied if I hurt myself, but I will think about it the entire day if I don't.
  • what do i really want to do right now? how can i best honor the self-protective instinct that has me wanting to self-injure right now?
I really want to hurt myself. I've wanted it most of the night.
I could
-read
-journal
- listen to music
-treat myself to something nice

urges aren't necessarily the enemy. they happen for reasons, and they're an expression of a desire to stay alive and stay sane and keep coping. remember that.

More Before Questions To Answer
  • Why do I feel I need to hurt myself? What has brought me to this point?
    These last few days have been a wreck. With stress from parents and added stress of myself feeling abandoned by others, I am at my breaking point. The depression is taking a toll and I'm so down. I want to feel satisfied for something.
  • Have I been here before? What did I do to deal with it? How did I feel then?
    I have and I harmed or cried myself to sleep. I never felt better and had to dig myself out of a hole.
  • What I have done to ease this discomfort so far? What else can I do that won't hurt me?
    I have played games, distracted myself, watched tv, wrote, got a bath, read, searched dog breeds. I'm going to try reading and music and videos and journaling.
  • How do I feel right now?
    I'm so down. I'm done. I feel useless. Depressed
  • How will I feel when I am hurting myself?
    Satisfied
  • How will I feel after hurting myself? How will I feel tomorrow morning?
  • Can I avoid this stressor, or deal with it better in the future?
    I don't know
  • Do I need to hurt myself?
I don't know


Remember you don't have to answer all the questions if you don't feel up to it.

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