slips are chances to learn. you figure out what stresses are still too hard for you and you can work on how you'll deal with them next time you run into them. so instead of beating yourself up, take action.
- have you taken care of your physical wounds? if not, go do that now. we'll wait.
yes - what had happened just before?
i was writing a letter to my cousin - what were you thinking and feeling?
i was thinking "there aren't enough marks on my arm, they're not even" (my ocd makes me have to have the same amount of scars on each arm, i know it's weird, that's just how my brain is) - why did you end up hurting yourself then instead of some other time? was there an event that was the final straw? what was it?
i just felt like i needed more cuts - how did the situation get to the final straw stage? trace it back through the events that led up to the last event. look for some point at which you could have made a different decision and not arrived at the final straw.
i could have taken a shower, i wanted to do that - were there outside factors like drugs, alsohol, being off your meds, lack of sleep, etc? can you address those in the future? how?
i was late taking my noon meds. i really need to put reminders on my phone. - what other ways of coping did you try besides self-harm? how well did they work?
i tried writing the letter, but it was so sad (i was telling my cousin about my si problem) and it just triggered me rather than making me feel better - in retrospect, are there coping methods that you now realize might have helped? what were they?
a shower always helps - name at least two things you will do to help yourself remember those coping methods if you end up in this situation again.
i'm not sure how to remind myself, the urge just comes up so quickly - how do you feel about the situation that led to self-harm now? is it resolved? if not, what are some steps you might take toward resolution?
well, my arms are "even" now, so i suppose maybe i won't have to do it again for a while - are you likely to be in that emotional place again? how will you recognize it when you're in that situation?
it's hard for me to recognize when i'm going to cut because it just comes up so suddenly and takes me by surprise. - what will you try before you resort to self-harm if you're in that situation again? list three specific things you will commit to trying.
i can't commit to anything
Opportunity to Self-Harm seems to be a common theme. Think about why opportunities are important to slips and learn why opportunity is important to you.
- What made that opportunity more appealing than any other?
i had my new tool in my room - Did you make an opportunity or was it there for the taking?
i made that opportunity. plus, my counselor isn't coming in today, i don't have control over that but i could have called him. - What would you have done if there was no opportunity, how would you have handled your urge?
i would have just gritted my teeth and gotten through it. or escaped to the bathroom. i usually find a way to si no matter where i am - If there had been no opportunity would your urge to self-harm have increased or decreased?
decreased - What consitutes opportunity for you? Being alone? having new tools? waiting for the right feeling?
having new tools, having a day when the counselor isn't coming in, that sudden urge, not having my arms "even" - If your opportunties were taken away, how would you feel?
i would feel horrible.
How do you beat your urges? Examine how you beat the last one so it can help you beat the next one.
- Did I identify what feelings were leading me to want to SI?
yes - If Yes - What were they, and how did I figure them out?
i could have called my counselor, that would get him involved and make me less likely to cut - What coping skills did I use to deal with these feelings?
none - Were these coping skills the most effective I could have used?
i could have taken a shower, i really wish i'd done that because a hot shower always helps me not cut - If No - What coping skills got me through?
- - Why do I think they worked?
i don't know why showers work, but something about a really hot (or, in summer, really cold) shower just takes away my urge. i guess because it hurts a little and that satisfies the urge - How can I deal with these feelings more effectively next time, before the urge to SI sets in?
i need to keep in better contact with my counselor.