write down the shadow that's hiding behind the urge. look at it. ask yourself:
- how will this situation or feeling change if i hurt myself?
I'm hopefully calmer and it will be easier to fall asleep. - what will hurting myself bring to the situation? what will it take away from the situation?
- how do i want to feel about this in the long run? is hurting myself likely to get me closer to or farther from feeling that way?
Right now I don't care if I still cut in a year or so but I want to stop eventually and trying to stop now wouldn't be the worst thing to do. - if hurting myself seems like my best option right now, how long will the relief it brings last? what will i do then?
It depends on how deep I cut. When I cut deep (=needing stitches) it will last for a longer time than when I just make shallow cuts. - what is something i could do now instead of hurting myself? how will it change the situation i'm in? how long will that change last, and what will i do then?
I'm listening to music and playing solitaire, I hope that I get more tired then and will fall asleep without doing any harm and tomorrow is hopefully a better day. And if not I start all this all over. - how will i feel tomorrow if i hurt myself? how will i feel tomorrow if i do the other thing i came up with?
not too bad I guess. but I might feel better if I didn't cut. - what do i really want to do right now? how can i best honor the self-protective instinct that has me wanting to self-injure right now?
urges aren't necessarily the enemy. they happen for reasons, and they're an expression of a desire to stay alive and stay sane and keep coping. remember that.
More Before Questions To Answer
- Why do I feel I need to hurt myself? What has brought me to this point?
I'm very emotional, a talk with a friend triggered some upsetting thoughts and I want to feel calmer. - Have I been here before? What did I do to deal with it? How did I feel then?
not exactly - What I have done to ease this discomfort so far? What else can I do that won't hurt me?
I'm listening to music, playing solitaire, writing about my thoughts. don't know - How do I feel right now?
already a bit calmer but still very emotional - How will I feel when I am hurting myself?
calmer and more relaxed - How will I feel after hurting myself? How will I feel tomorrow morning?
sucky cause I don't want to take care of my wounds but otherwise I'd be okay with it - right now after it and tomorrow morning as well - Can I avoid this stressor, or deal with it better in the future?
don't know - Do I need to hurt myself?
Remember you don't have to answer all the questions if you don't feel up to it.
