Before You Self-Harm
write down the shadow that's hiding behind the urge. look at it. ask yourself:
- how will this situation or feeling change if i hurt myself?
it won't.. but momentarily i'll feel better - what will hurting myself bring to the situation? what will it take away from the situation?
hurting myself with bring guilt and fear to the situation and take away my strength - how do i want to feel about this in the long run? is hurting myself likely to get me closer to or farther from feeling that way?
i want to feel like ive got over it, it doesnt matter anymore, i didn't give in, but hurting myself will only take that away. - if hurting myself seems like my best option right now, how long will the relief it brings last? what will i do then?
the relief will last until i realise my boyfriend will see it, then ill be terrified - what is something i could do now instead of hurting myself? how will it change the situation i'm in? how long will that change last, and what will i do then?
distract myself, it wont change anything, then again neither will hurting myself, and both methods come to an end anyway - how will i feel tomorrow if i hurt myself? how will i feel tomorrow if i do the other thing i came up with?
tomorrow i will feel even worse, because i have to work and then others might see it, ill probably feel ok tomorrow if i distract myself right now - what do i really want to do right now? how can i best honor the self-protective instinct that has me wanting to self-injure right now?
urges aren't necessarily the enemy. they happen for reasons, and they're an expression of a desire to stay alive and stay sane and keep coping. remember that.
More Before Questions To Answer
- Why do I feel I need to hurt myself? What has brought me to this point?
i thought i was finally getting help but i was told im not sick enough - Have I been here before? What did I do to deal with it? How did I feel then?
ive been here way too many times before, i gave in most times, then i felt worthless and stupid - What I have done to ease this discomfort so far? What else can I do that won't hurt me?
ive distracted myself, i can keep doing that, i could play with my bunny - How do I feel right now?
hurt, disapointed, weak, horrible - How will I feel when I am hurting myself?
in control, strong - How will I feel after hurting myself? How will I feel tomorrow morning?
after i'll feel worthless and stupid - Can I avoid this stressor, or deal with it better in the future?
I can avoid it by not getting any more help, or i can ask to not have anymore assesments, maybe just have meds not try for therapy. - Do I need to hurt myself?