after

[graceless]

•have you taken care of your physical wounds? if not, go do that now. we'll wait.
Its fine.

•what had happened just before?
Nothing at all. I've been in company for about an hour after being alone since friday, I guess I over did it and didn't easy in gently.

•what were you thinking and feeling?
I just wanted relief. All I could think of was being able to do it, its been a long time since the urge was so strong.

•why did you end up hurting yourself then instead of some other time? was there an event that was the final straw? what was it?
I have had it in my head for so long now that I just wanted to stop thinkin about it. I did a before post the other day, but didn't end up doing it. My head is full but I don't know what I feel.

•how did the situation get to the final straw stage? trace it back through the events that led up to the last event. look for some point at which you could have made a different decision and not arrived at the final straw.
its been a long time coming, I think I've just felt frustrated and confused for too long.

•were there outside factors like drugs, alsohol, being off your meds, lack of sleep, etc? can you address those in the future? how?
I've been sleeping really badly the past couple night but that's mainly cause I have the cold. I've not left thr house in a couple days, so maybe that's added to the claustrophobic feeling I have.

•what other ways of coping did you try besides self-harm? how well did they work?
I've been sleeping and watching movies, I took a bath and I'm on here a fair bit. They got me to this point, a few days longer than I thought it'd be before i SI'd.

•in retrospect, are there coping methods that you now realize might have helped? what were they?
Talking, but at the moment I don't have that option. No one knows I'm doing this again.

•name at least two things you will do to help yourself remember those coping methods if you end up in this situation again.

•how do you feel about the situation that led to self-harm now? is it resolved? if not, what are some steps you might take toward resolution?
I need to sort support, I dunno what that'll look like but I know its gunna need to happen even if not IRL.

•are you likely to be in that emotional place again? how will you recognize it when you're in that situation?
I may be - hopefully not in the next couple days.

•what will you try before you resort to self-harm if you're in that situation again? list three specific things you will commit to trying
Listening to an album.
Sending a couple texts.
Readin a bit.