slips are chances to learn. you figure out what stresses are still too hard for you and you can work on how you'll deal with them next time you run into them. so instead of beating yourself up, take action.
- have you taken care of your physical wounds? if not, go do that now. we'll wait.
yes, I have - what had happened just before?
I was posting on here, thinking about how my life has gone to crap this summer - what were you thinking and feeling?
I was feeling like a failure, and how I won't ever be able to stop SI like I want to. - why did you end up hurting yourself then instead of some other time? was there an event that was the final straw? what was it?
The final straw was thinking that I was never going to change myself like I want to. I was in the mindset that I will always SI, no matter what I try to do. - how did the situation get to the final straw stage? trace it back through the events that led up to the last event. look for some point at which you could have made a different decision and not arrived at the final straw.
I guess I shouldn't have used all or nothing thinking on myself. It wasn't fair to do that. - were there outside factors like drugs, alcohol, being off your meds, lack of sleep, etc? can you address those in the future? how?
Lack of sleep. I know I need to get on a regular sleep pattern, not sleep so much in the day. - what other ways of coping did you try besides self-harm? how well did they work?
I tried to just keep posting to keep my mind off SI, and it helped, but when I left the computer to go have a cig, I lost it and thought, well, I am always going to SI, and nothing is going to change that. - in retrospect, are there coping methods that you now realize might have helped? what were they?
I should have used my emergency kit and used the de-stressing items in it. - name at least two things you will do to help yourself remember those coping methods if you end up in this situation again.
I will use my kit when I begin to feel the urge, I will remind myself that it is there for me to use - how do you feel about the situation that led to self-harm now? is it resolved? if not, what are some steps you might take toward resolution?
It's not resolved, but I think I need to talk it through in therapy, so it's not going to be easily resolved. - are you likely to be in that emotional place again? how will you recognize it when you're in that situation?
I am likely to feel this way again, and I think the best way to recognize it will be when I start to feel like I am always going to SI, and to tell myself that it is a process, and to be easy on myself. - what will you try before you resort to self-harm if you're in that situation again? list three specific things you will commit to trying.
I will use my emergency kit, I will try to do a before post on here, I will use a replacement coping skill, like ice
Opportunity to Self-Harm seems to be a common theme. Think about why opportunities are important to slips and learn why opportunity is important to you.
- What made that opportunity more appealing than any other?
I think the fact that I knew that I was alone and no one would bother me. - Did you make an opportunity or was it there for the taking?
there for the taking - What would you have done if there was no opportunity, how would you have handled your urge?
I would have prolly done something like biting myself or something, I would have figured some way to hurt myself - If there had been no opportunity would your urge to self-harm have increased or decreased?
increased - What constitutes opportunity for you? Being alone? having new tools? waiting for the right feeling?
being alone, having the right feeling - If your opportunities were taken away, how would you feel?
anxious
How do you beat your urges? Examine how you beat the last one so it can help you beat the next one.
- Did I identify what feelings were leading me to want to SI?
yes - If Yes - What were they, and how did I figure them out?
feeling like I am a failure, feeling depressed, thinking about what has happened and seeing it in black and white. I figured them out by doing an exercise like this in my workbook - What coping skills did I use to deal with these feelings?
I used my emergency kit, and squeezed a stress ball - Were these coping skills the most effective I could have used?
at the time, yes - If No - What coping skills got me through?
- Why do I think they worked?
because I was hellbent on not hurting myself again - How can I deal with these feelings more effectively next time, before the urge to SI sets in?
try to figure out what I am really feeling rather than just going straight to SI