So this is an after. My brother’s brought some people home and I absentmindedly left my liquor downstairs in the fridge. They don’t know I’ve been sneaking it in since I moved back home 6mo ago. I feel horrible and now they both know about it. Injury wise... There’s nothing really to take care of. The cuts aren’t that bad. I don’t go too deep anymore. It’s the only way I can convince myself that I’m not relapsing lol
I hate being a bad influence on my brothers. I've screwed them up enough
After
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DJ_CJ
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After
Focusing "inward" can be good for self-improvement but like a microphone pointed at a speaker it can create a feedback loop that multiplies exponentially if not stopped. Just like a mic you need to "ride" the volume control in your mind or forever be deafened. Don't live with the squeal of constant negative thoughts. I wish you a clearer more positive focus. Good Luck
Some questions for you to consider (answer here if you feel comfortable):
How does drinking relate to SI?
How is SI not relapsing, if it's not that deep? I'm wondering if you're conflating 'less bad' with 'acceptable'. Because I can definitely see less harm being less bad. But I'm hesitant about the idea that SI that isn't that physically harmful is somehow okay.
With your brothers, what do you think you did to them? And how would you look at your SI problem if you weren't responsible for your brothers?
How does drinking relate to SI?
How is SI not relapsing, if it's not that deep? I'm wondering if you're conflating 'less bad' with 'acceptable'. Because I can definitely see less harm being less bad. But I'm hesitant about the idea that SI that isn't that physically harmful is somehow okay.
With your brothers, what do you think you did to them? And how would you look at your SI problem if you weren't responsible for your brothers?
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