even if you do nothing.
Hold on for the beauty of a sunrise, the day when you notice colour again,
and feel it reflected and magnified inside you.
Hold on for the day when the terrible Emptiness and inexhaustable Need are
gone and you are free. It does happen. It happened to me, so have hope.
Hold on if for no other reason than to see what happens next, cause you can
pretty much guarrantee that sooner or later something you didn't expect will
happen, and it might be good.
Hold on for the time when the voices in your head are saying "good job"
instead of "you're a failure", when the words in your head are supportive
and nurturing.
Hold on for the day when you realise you haven't even thought of hurting
yourself or killing yourself in ages and ages. It's such a surprise!
Hold on for the morning when you wake up feeling so totally relaxed and
rested that your body is luxuriously heavy and that first stretch is
wonderfully decadant.
Hold on for the day when you *really* don't give a flying f*ck how you look,
or what people think of you, because you are comfortable, not defiant.
Hold on for the day when you are no longer defined by other people's opinion
of you.
Hold on for the day when the only tears you have are from laughing so much,
when the laughter just bubbles up naturally and smiles come so easily that
your cheeks hurt.
Hold on for the day when you laugh at yourself for all your little ways, even the ones that
you used to find intolerable, because that's the day when you've accepted
who you are and come to see it all as precious and endearing.
Hold on for the moment when you suddenly recognise that you've grown and
changed, and are pleasantly suprised.
Hold on for the day when you look in the mirror and don't run screaming from
the room, when you are happy with who and what you see. That is a fantastic
moment.
Hold on for the moment of transformation that occurs when there has been a
deep shift inside you and a whole new world opens up in all its beauty and
wonder.
Hold on for the day when you can really taste food again, when you notice
the blue of the sky, the quality of light reflecting off leaves, the
softness of a child's skin, the pleasure of someone's smile, the feeling of
a gentle breeze on your face and ruffling your hair, the play of light
through the trees, and you hear the beauty of a bird's song as if for the
first time and in that moment, nothing else matters.
Hold on for the day when you suddenly notice that things have depth,
that the world is no longer two dimensional.
Hold on for the time when you feel all this creative energy inside you,
waiting to be expressed - whether it be through song, music, dance, art,
writing, or just simply by loving.
Hold on for the day when you really feel and Know that you have something to
offer, and that this something is not Pain, which is all you thought you had
to offer before.
Hold on for the day when you can let other people's love get inside you,
where you can feel it, when it doesn't just bounce off you without meaning.
Hold on for the day when your words make a difference in someone else's
life - whether you see it or not, whether you understand it or not, whether
you see all the ripples or not.
Hold on for the miracle of the moment when you see yourself truly, as you
are, and are awestruck, because it WILL happen if you let it. So hold on for
the day when you grasp the wonder of who you are, behind and beneath all the
pain and all your thoughts.