Not Fully Conscious

tips on how to cope: dealing with your feelings, dealing with the consequences of self-harm in your life. share your ideas and maybe pick up some new skills, too. you don't have to want to stop to learn something new here.

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Licentia Poetica
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Re: Not Fully Conscious

Post by Licentia Poetica » Wed Dec 22, 2010 7:55 am

What you're describing sounds like dissociation. Which, at my worst, also made me black out, losing hours, or days at a time. It happens to me when I am just simply so unable to cope with the situation or my mood/ depressive/ anxious state that my brain shuts down.
[url=http://buslist.org/phpBB/viewtopic.php?p=2974524#p2974524]Here[/url], I wrote:Dissociation is the "spacey" feeling of being tired, kind of drunk without the good part.. and in severe cases, "blackouts" where you can't remember what you did. Everyone feels dissociated to *some* degree, especially when overtired. Examples: having the "stares" or feeling "out of it" or being on "autopilot".

Depersonalisation is when you feel out of yourself. A lot of people describe it as the feeling of "looking down onto themselves". I just feel really... empty, very lost and unable to contribute anything of myself to what's going on around me. Like my thoughts and my self aren't connected at all. I've also had experiences like.. I'd not be able to connect my own movement with my body - like my arm wasn't my own.. sounds strange.

Derealisation is when the world around you goes "funny" - I'm not sure I can explain it beyond that... the scariest part of that for me is when the ground disappears. Sounds are strange.. colours are strange, time seems lagging.. peoples voices split between the time they say it and the time you understand it so it sounds echoed.. and you feel like you're going to fall out of space and time when you close your eyes..
There's more information at Secret Shame under "diagnoses" and "Dissociative disorders".

You could also try practicing some Grounding Techniques when you're feeling that spacey feeling coming on. If you have a psychiatrist, I would definitely mention it as it probably means depression/ anxiety is quite bad for you right now. Otherwise, make sure you are getting enough rest and eating enough, as being tired/ lethargic can make it worse (or so I've found).
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