Gaining control - SI

tips on how to cope: dealing with your feelings, dealing with the consequences of self-harm in your life. share your ideas and maybe pick up some new skills, too. you don't have to want to stop to learn something new here.

Moderators: Spidey, noldo

Post Reply
User avatar
Kltat
settling in
settling in
Posts: 132
Joined: Tue Nov 30, 2010 1:58 am
Gender: Female
Location: Seattle, WA

Gaining control - SI

Post by Kltat » Wed Dec 01, 2010 5:52 pm

Anyone have any tips on getting your head right when you don't feel in control?

That seems to be my breaking point, I need to find a healthier outlet when things are not going the way I want them to.

Thanks in advance, you all rock. :-)
Hugs and PMs welcome. :-)

User avatar
onyx
settling in
settling in
Posts: 88
Joined: Sat Jul 18, 2009 11:49 pm
Gender: female
Location: caryville Tn
Contact:

Re: Gaining control - SI

Post by onyx » Fri Dec 03, 2010 1:07 am

some times music helps bring me back to myself.
+*+ Everytime you smile at someone, it is an action of love, a gift to that person, a beautiful thing.+*+

User avatar
Licentia Poetica
forum moderator emeritus
forum moderator emeritus
Posts: 24935
Joined: Sat Jan 25, 2003 10:06 am
Gender: Female
Location: Australia
Contact:

Re: Gaining control - SI

Post by Licentia Poetica » Thu Dec 09, 2010 1:01 pm

Have you ever tried some relaxation or grounding techniques? When you feel really out of control it can help to stop, sit down and remind yourself of your surroundings. Smells, sounds, the touch of the bed under you - small things like that. There's more on grounding here.

Breathing is a big one. I wrote some stuff on breathing here.

There's also whole lot of ways to cope here.

Lastly, you have to remember that feelings themselves cannot hurt you. So as long as you can safely sit through the feelings, they will eventually pass.
:redstar: the time to tell a person you care is now :redstar: the paper crane chain of hope :redstar:

Image

If we knew each other's secrets, what comforts we should find.
John Churton Collins

User avatar
flyingturtle
sprouting branches
sprouting branches
Posts: 1242
Joined: Sun May 09, 2010 8:19 am
Location: somewhere in the between

Re: Gaining control - SI

Post by flyingturtle » Mon Dec 13, 2010 5:21 am

I usually text a friend of mine, but I know we don't all have those/are not always willing to talk about things. I'm also a music person. I sometimes play guitar or even just listen to some music. I bake sometimes... If it's really late at night, I'll just write until whatever is inside my head is out on paper. It kind of works as a transfer of energy, I suppose. :)
:redstar: :star: :ylwstar: :grnstar: :bluestar: :dkpurpstar:

2/26/2010
1 slip - 11/08/2014

:bluestar:My Place: Somewhere in the Between.

becky-marie
creating your space
creating your space
Posts: 150
Joined: Thu May 07, 2009 2:04 pm

Re: Gaining control - SI

Post by becky-marie » Thu Jan 20, 2011 3:03 pm

This is my question too. I think my biggest problem is learning to deal with the fact that I can't always be in control.

User avatar
disastercake
forum moderator emeritus
forum moderator emeritus
Posts: 3342
Joined: Sun Oct 02, 2005 1:12 am
Gender: Female
Location: USA

Re: Gaining control - SI

Post by disastercake » Sun Feb 20, 2011 9:29 am

The grounding techniques really helped me, or going someplace in public for a while
:bfly: -Al :bfly:

"...And once you have tasted flight,
you will walk the earth with your eyes turned skywards,
for there you have been,
and there you long to return..."
- Leonardo da Vinci

My Place

User avatar
treasure
forum moderator - workshop & before & after
forum moderator - workshop & before & after
Posts: 11079
Joined: Wed Feb 25, 2004 8:32 pm
Gender: f
Location: Melbourne, Australia

Re: Gaining control - SI

Post by treasure » Mon Feb 21, 2011 4:23 am

apart from breathing and grounding techniques which are *really* important, i usually feel more in control if i write a list. something like housework is currently making me feel out-of-control cos i have to do a lot and feel like i can't, and feel heaps of pressure to it but that means more anxiety and avoidance. so a list of the chores i have to do, with maybe an entry for "take a break", "listen to music" etc, will definitely make it easier to do what i need to and be in control of the anxiety that's messing it all up.
you can write lists of coping skills or worries you have or whatever.
treasure
virtual hugs welcome.
shiny place or old place

User avatar
Descent
creating your space
creating your space
Posts: 191
Joined: Sat Feb 19, 2011 10:01 pm
Gender: Female
Location: United States

Re: Gaining control - SI

Post by Descent » Tue Feb 22, 2011 1:34 am

This may sound odd, but if you close your eyes and take five deep breaths, you feel refreshed when you open your eyes again and you can make clearer decisions.
there.is.always.hope
"Don't follow your dreams; chase them."
"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent."
"There is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so."

-->*My Place* *My PBH*<--
:redstar: :star: :ylwstar: :grnstar: :bluestar: :dkpurpstar:

Post Reply

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 4 guests