do your parents know

tips on how to cope: dealing with your feelings, dealing with the consequences of self-harm in your life. share your ideas and maybe pick up some new skills, too. you don't have to want to stop to learn something new here.

Moderators: Spidey, noldo

do your parents know about you SI??

Yes , by accident
53
43%
No, i hope they never do
53
43%
No,but i want to tell them
2
2%
Yes I told them
14
11%
 
Total votes: 122

User avatar
im.falling.too.fast
meeting the neighbors
meeting the neighbors
Posts: 251
Joined: Fri May 25, 2007 10:10 pm

Post by im.falling.too.fast » Sat May 26, 2007 9:49 am

I think my mum is getting suspicious, I hope she never finds out

x
..[x]..ForgetHisSmile..[x]..
..[x]..ForgetHisFace..[x]..
..[x]..ForgetHisKiss..[x]..
..[x]..HisWarmEmbrace..[x]..
..[x]..ForgetThatGuyThatYouOnceKnew..[x]..

User avatar
5th section
just plain inspiring
just plain inspiring
Posts: 7753
Joined: Tue Sep 19, 2006 8:06 pm
Gender: Male
Location: if rain makes Britain great then Manchester is greater
Contact:

Post by 5th section » Sat May 26, 2007 6:36 pm

It's less of an issue for me because I left home a while ago
...but at some point I do intend to tell them. Not now, because my family's been through a lot recently and I don't want to add to it, and because I want to wait longer until I've got more confidence in my ability to stop. But I hate concealing things from tham, and I feel like they'[ve got a right to know.
...then one day I realised that the people you see in waiting rooms and car parks and on trains are really far more interesting. That they all have whole novels inside them, a fabric of scar tissues, photos and memories. They are comedies and tragedies and - more often - both at the same time.
- Anna James (1984-2007)

son of ultimate starshine / brother of Eisa & Sprink / Birdie's ornithologist / married to Mande / Chey's uncle
- my place
- my band (or more accurately, the band of which I am the bassist) some SI/SU triggers in lyrics...proceed with caution...

GOING STRAIGHT SINCE 1ST DECEMBER 2009

User avatar
Weetzie Bat
post laureate
post laureate
Posts: 11744
Joined: Mon Mar 25, 2002 1:00 am
Location: Wonderland

Post by Weetzie Bat » Sat May 26, 2007 7:30 pm

yeah both my parents know. they found out by accident when I was about 10 so I started hiding it and they thought I'd stopped. Then they found out again when I was about 14/15. I'm 21 now and dont live with them anymore so they dont talk to me about it.
:purpstar: :pinkstar: :lblstar:

User avatar
++Jigsaw++
building community
building community
Posts: 636
Joined: Thu Feb 15, 2007 11:41 am
Location: Neverland: 2nd star on the right and straight on 'till morning
Contact:

Post by ++Jigsaw++ » Mon May 28, 2007 12:09 am

My so called 'best friend' at the time told my mum when i was 12. I told her it was a one off thing and she believed me untill i was about 16 and getting ready for prom, scared from fresh cuts and my dress so i had to tell her again.

Now she's alwas suspiscous but wont say. I've made her believe that i've stopped by being brave enough to wear strappy tops - saying that i should be proud that ive stopped not ashamed that i do it. So i ontl do it where she will necer see now :(
'Now blow the candle out my dear and make your wish come true...'

My place - I'm only here because of gravity... I have a mermaids lagoon and a mascot :D

User avatar
mithz
bus mechanic
bus mechanic
Posts: 3198
Joined: Mon Nov 20, 2006 11:31 pm
Gender: Male
Location: Hull, UK

Post by mithz » Mon May 28, 2007 12:39 am

My mum found out by accident after about 18 months of SI, but I came clean and didn't attempt to hide it. She made me go into counselling and stuff. After the counselling, I pretended that I had recovered and kept it secret for about 6 years... until a month ago. eek. Then my mum and sister found out by accident again and confronted me about it. But they haven't talked about it since that day.

User avatar
amber_lynne10
meeting the neighbors
meeting the neighbors
Posts: 465
Joined: Mon May 28, 2007 3:13 am
Location: Ohio[Age:17]
Contact:

Post by amber_lynne10 » Mon May 28, 2007 4:09 am

My mom knows i hurt(past tense) but thats really it. ive only told a few close CLOSE friends. but other then that, nobody really knows about it. and id much rather keep it that way, if my parents/family found out, they would flip their lid! and i hate therapy!
Damaged People Are Dangerous... Because They Know They Can Survive.

I Want To Learn How To Take Pictures. The Kind You Take With A Camera Not The Kind My Head Takes. My Head Uses Real Expensive Film And The Pictures Are A Real Bitch To Develop.
:grystar: Last SI:June 3. :grystar:
http://buslist.org/phpBB/viewtopic.php? ... 69#2622269 <<<My Place

Image
Visit my egg please(:

User avatar
TheRockingHorse
quintessential regular
quintessential regular
Posts: 2032
Joined: Sun May 06, 2007 7:28 pm

Post by TheRockingHorse » Mon May 28, 2007 1:36 pm

well, these options just didnt really work for me...i dont really want to tell them, well, i sorta do, but sorta dont. i do want to tell them because then i dont have to worry about them finding out other ways and getting really upset, i dont want to tell them for the obvious reasons....questions, not understanding....

just thought i put my 2 cents in :wink:
I said to the sun, tell me about the Big Bang
The sun said, 'It hurts to become.'

Andrea Gibson

My Place
A living room wall with awkwardly placed photographs hiding fist-shaped holes

User avatar
riseagainst
meeting the neighbors
meeting the neighbors
Posts: 332
Joined: Sat Sep 18, 2004 6:14 am
Contact:

Post by riseagainst » Tue May 29, 2007 6:25 am

my pe teacher saw my arms and then told my parents and they freaked out
~bewteen each smile theres a tear in your eye~

hugs are always ok

MY PLACE
http://buslist.org/phpBB/viewtopic.php?t=112875
^i just started it and its really lonely haha comments are always welcome

User avatar
twistddreamr
sprouting branches
sprouting branches
Posts: 1144
Joined: Thu Feb 03, 2005 6:11 am
Location: New England, USA

Post by twistddreamr » Tue May 29, 2007 6:53 am

my parents do not know nor to i want them to find out. it would cause too much chaos in my family to deal with. i'm already in counseling and the like so it would do nothing but hurt my family.
Image

As I search for the resolution...

"we're all just a little bit fucked up." ~Rob Thomas

"you have to earn your heaven." ~ Pop RIP

User avatar
SplinteredGirl
sock rocker
sock rocker
Posts: 3844
Joined: Thu Apr 26, 2007 11:11 pm
Gender: female
Location: Vancouver

.

Post by SplinteredGirl » Tue May 29, 2007 10:28 pm

i had a yes i told them.. but it didnt work

User avatar
JohnnyBoy
creating your space
creating your space
Posts: 222
Joined: Mon Apr 23, 2007 11:05 pm
Location: RULE BRITANIA
Contact:

Post by JohnnyBoy » Wed May 30, 2007 12:43 am

I have a verry obvious scar on my wrist and have stopped trying to hide it. I'm sure they know, but neither they or my step-mother (of the non-evill veriaty) have raised it with me, exept once when I came home from uni in a state with fresh cuts on my hand, but I used the 'there was alcohol involved... and posably a tree' excuse.
'If you want to get anything done in this countury you've got to complain till you're blue in the mouth'. -Mr John Cleese, and he never spoke a truer word. If you don't beleave me, try getting gender reassignment out of the NHS.

User avatar
kreaTure333
unpacking boxes
unpacking boxes
Posts: 40
Joined: Tue May 23, 2006 5:17 pm

Post by kreaTure333 » Tue Jun 05, 2007 9:10 am

My Mother knows that I used to. A friend told on me to a school counselor in Junior High. He forced me to tell my Mother. She sent me to therapy. Her finding out made things a lot worse for me.
"We are here to laugh at the odds, and live our lives so well that death will tremble to take us"
-Charles Bukowski

User avatar
Licentia Poetica
forum moderator emeritus
forum moderator emeritus
Posts: 24935
Joined: Sat Jan 25, 2003 10:06 am
Gender: Female
Location: Australia
Contact:

Re: .

Post by Licentia Poetica » Tue Jun 05, 2007 9:54 am

SplinteredGirl wrote:i had a yes i told them.. but it didnt work
I added it in for you :redstar:
:redstar: the time to tell a person you care is now :redstar: the paper crane chain of hope :redstar:

Image

If we knew each other's secrets, what comforts we should find.
John Churton Collins

User avatar
green
quintessential regular
quintessential regular
Posts: 2190
Joined: Sun Jun 16, 2002 10:04 am
Location: England

Post by green » Tue Jun 05, 2007 12:14 pm

Yes, I told them. Eventually anyway. It took me 2 years though, as it's never something that comes easily. They've known for about 5 years now and I think our relationship is stronger because of it :)
"Sometimes you climb out of bed in the morning and you think, I’m not going to make it, but you laugh inside — remembering all the times you’ve felt that way."
- Charles Bukowski, Gamblers All

User avatar
Strawberry Droid
one of us
one of us
Posts: 14
Joined: Tue Apr 22, 2003 11:57 pm
Location: Netherlands

Post by Strawberry Droid » Wed Jun 06, 2007 8:03 pm

My mom might have seen some glances of scars but never said a word, so I hope she doesn't know. I don't want to tell them yet, it's too early: I need to be seriously sure before I attempt to explain it to them.

Sometimes it hurts that I can't be completely honest, but she can read my face. I can tell her my feelings. I don't want to hurt my parents by telling and then having a relapse.
Free since January 14th 2007.

User avatar
monkey
orange smartie
orange smartie
Posts: 1862
Joined: Sun Mar 14, 2004 8:33 pm
Location: Location Location

Post by monkey » Wed Jun 06, 2007 9:47 pm

No, I never told my parents and never will.
They obviously noticed when I was young - say under 16 that I would have bruises and cuts, but as a boy thats easily put down to 'boy stuff' :-?

Now its been years since I lived at home and theres simply no need to tell. It's none of their business. Just because people happen to be in my family theres no reason they should 'have' to know, or even 'have' to be supportive.
I make a choice not to wear Tshirt or shorts when they're around and its not really a hardship - far easier than going into either lies or explanations.

User avatar
Brit
part of the fixtures
part of the fixtures
Posts: 2573
Joined: Thu May 10, 2007 2:42 am
Gender: Female
Location: Minnesota

Post by Brit » Sat Jun 09, 2007 6:59 pm

my dad found out a year into it but didn't do anything, he made me promise not to do it anymore. but it only got to be a bigger problem. this year, my senior year, he got the authorities involved. a cop came to my school, my principal called me out of class, and i had to show him my arms. to make matters worse, he told me that he didn't know wat he would do if one of his best students was no longer here. then he made me go to the school social worker, and show her and then a cop. the cop made me go to the hospital where they told me i would have to stay for a 24 hour observation. that might have not been so bad except for the fact that i was stuck there for eight days.

sorry this was so long, im still a little bitter and hurt by the whole ordeal. i live in a small town and somehow when i got out everyone knew. it was horrible.

if anyone stuck it out and read the whole thing, thanks. :)

User avatar
eleonor
meeting the neighbors
meeting the neighbors
Posts: 357
Joined: Thu May 03, 2007 5:31 pm

Post by eleonor » Sun Jun 10, 2007 7:39 pm

My dad knows. I promised my best friend to tell him because she threatened me: 'If you don't tell him and keep doing that, I'll tell your granparents'. I live with my grandparents but they are old and ill - I wish they never know about it or they might receive a heart attack or something...
So I told my father. There was also another reason to do it - I saw my sister banging her head against a wall - I don't want such a thing to happen to her so I decided to warn them (rather him - my mum just won't understand). I asked my father for help, told him I need a p.doctor. He just told me to pray for myself...
Now I feel somehow free to do anything - not that it is right, but now it's not my secret. I've asked for help, he said 'No' - I'm not responsible anymore. No one cares - why should I?

User avatar
Corlath
one of us
one of us
Posts: 12
Joined: Sat Sep 11, 2010 2:54 am
Gender: female
Location: The Land Down Under

Re: do your parents know

Post by Corlath » Tue Sep 21, 2010 6:38 am

i've said they don't know and never will but the reality is is that they, or hopefully just dad, will know soon.

I just to just bruise myself, it's been an on and off thing for the last six years and i've been doing it regularily for the past 6 months or so. For the first time, friends that i made at the begining of last year, have acctually noticed. There is one in particular who i trusted and when she called me out on it and explained her side of why she was worrid even though it was just bruises, something broke something in me and i told her eveything. Shes been there for me these last couple of months and when i completly shattered the other night and took a razor to my thigh i went to her the next day.

She has given me the choice of tell my parents or she will. So the decision is now out of my hands and in the next week or two i shall be having the conversation with my father. May God give me strength when i do.
1 Peter 1:24

User avatar
Isis
settling in
settling in
Posts: 97
Joined: Tue Jan 29, 2008 12:09 am
Location: somewhere in europe

Re: do your parents know

Post by Isis » Tue Sep 21, 2010 9:41 am

i told my parents 3 years ago, but since i didn't really get any big reaction or help from them i said i stopped doing it.

Post Reply

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 6 guests