What is your secret?
Why is it a secret?
I feel like a complete failure and i feel im too far down the road of self destruction to be saved.
What are your feelings about this secret?
I cant talk to anyone about it, because i feel everyone will agree.
Why are you telling this secret now?
beucase I need to get it out, but i cant talk about it, and it scares me.
Is this something you could change/ do differently tomorrow to make your life better?
i cant think of anything. I can try to find a way to make me think like im a decent person.
Could you challenge yourself to open up to someone about it?
I could - but I dont think anyone would care enough to listen.
Do you think you are alone in having this secret?
probsbly not. but i dont know.
What would you say to someone else with this secret?
I would tell them to try to tlk to someone about it.
Secrets and more (please stay safe)
-
ultimate starshine
- buskateer
- Posts: 19332
- Joined: Fri Jan 11, 2008 7:28 pm
- Gender: Feeeeeeeeeemale
- Location: Uncivilised Society of the Uk.
I am 5th Sections mummy
RDS is my amazing sister
Elmoscaresme is my adorable niece
I am Eisa's Fairy
"The marks I make, The steps I take, Prove i still exist" ~ written by me."
"Never let the fear of striking out... stop you from playing the game" - A cinderella story
Place
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vampirelover
- spiffy maximus
- Posts: 4149
- Joined: Tue Apr 17, 2007 8:45 pm
- Gender: F
- Location: London ish(England), age : 21
What is your secret?
i left her in the hospital so i could kill myself and not feel like i was hurting anyone
Why is it a secret?
cause i know now she wasnt the only one that cared and i should have helped her instead of being selfish
What are your feelings about this secret?
that i really believed in what i was doing , but i wanna say im sorry
Why are you telling this secret now?
cause i feel guilty and im worried about her (shes still alive
Is this something you could change/ do differently tomorrow to make your life better? nope
Could you challenge yourself to open up to someone about it? mayby
Do you think you are alone in having this secret? probably
What would you say to someone else with this secret?
its alright you made a mistake you dont have to hold onto it
i left her in the hospital so i could kill myself and not feel like i was hurting anyone
Why is it a secret?
cause i know now she wasnt the only one that cared and i should have helped her instead of being selfish
What are your feelings about this secret?
that i really believed in what i was doing , but i wanna say im sorry
Why are you telling this secret now?
cause i feel guilty and im worried about her (shes still alive
Is this something you could change/ do differently tomorrow to make your life better? nope
Could you challenge yourself to open up to someone about it? mayby
Do you think you are alone in having this secret? probably
What would you say to someone else with this secret?
its alright you made a mistake you dont have to hold onto it
longest with no slips - 2 years , 6 months
time since last slip : 2 days
time since last slip : 2 days
Re: Secrets and more (please stay safe)
What is your secret?
*SI warning*!!
I SI'd again - but it wasn't my usual style - and I'm proud of my destructive achievement. I broke my wrist after hitting it for half an hour.
Oh and I love this cow
Why is it a secret?
I'm supposed to try and stop. Oops.
What are your feelings about this secret?
Pride for doing it. And conversely, shame, desperation, frustration. And a shameless need for care.
Why are you telling this secret now?
I'm so ashamed of this and I can't talk to anyone about it honestly
Is this something you could change/ do differently tomorrow to make your life better?
I could try to open up and talk to people on an emotional level rather than an intelectual level.
Could you challenge yourself to open up to someone about it?
Challenge yes. Actually do it...I've been trying for the last 22 years
Do you think you are alone in having this secret?
Nope
What would you say to someone else with this secret?
I have no idea. I suppose I'd say I was so sorry they felt that way; i'd want to make them feel loved and heard, and cared for, but I'm not sure if they'd be comfortable with that. I try to tell them that it's not weakness to cry or feel sad and express that sadness.
*SI warning*!!
I SI'd again - but it wasn't my usual style - and I'm proud of my destructive achievement. I broke my wrist after hitting it for half an hour.
Oh and I love this cow
Why is it a secret?
I'm supposed to try and stop. Oops.
What are your feelings about this secret?
Pride for doing it. And conversely, shame, desperation, frustration. And a shameless need for care.
Why are you telling this secret now?
I'm so ashamed of this and I can't talk to anyone about it honestly
Is this something you could change/ do differently tomorrow to make your life better?
I could try to open up and talk to people on an emotional level rather than an intelectual level.
Could you challenge yourself to open up to someone about it?
Challenge yes. Actually do it...I've been trying for the last 22 years
Do you think you are alone in having this secret?
Nope
What would you say to someone else with this secret?
I have no idea. I suppose I'd say I was so sorry they felt that way; i'd want to make them feel loved and heard, and cared for, but I'm not sure if they'd be comfortable with that. I try to tell them that it's not weakness to cry or feel sad and express that sadness.
"A prayer for the wild at heart, kept in cages"
http://buslist.org/phpBB/viewtopic.php?f=19&t=135967 <<<My Place (please read and comment; it are lonely here
)
LoverlyLaurie is my soul sister
Roxi is my twisted sister
http://buslist.org/phpBB/viewtopic.php?f=19&t=135967 <<<My Place (please read and comment; it are lonely here
)LoverlyLaurie is my soul sister
Roxi is my twisted sister
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fragmentedxdream
- settling in
- Posts: 131
- Joined: Fri Jul 17, 2009 7:14 am
- Gender: Female
- Location: Michigan
Re: Secrets and more (please stay safe)
What is your secret?
i am afraid of what's going to happen when my parents get divorced
Why is it a secret?
because i can't let anyone know it really bothers me
What are your feelings about this secret?
i'm really afraid and anxious because everything is changing
Why are you telling this secret now?
because it hurts to hide it
Is this something you could change/ do differently tomorrow to make your life better?
not really
Could you challenge yourself to open up to someone about it?
i can only open up to one person and i'm afraid to let anyone in
Do you think you are alone in having this secret?
i feel very alone
What would you say to someone else with this secret?
maybe it's for the better
i am afraid of what's going to happen when my parents get divorced
Why is it a secret?
because i can't let anyone know it really bothers me
What are your feelings about this secret?
i'm really afraid and anxious because everything is changing
Why are you telling this secret now?
because it hurts to hide it
Is this something you could change/ do differently tomorrow to make your life better?
not really
Could you challenge yourself to open up to someone about it?
i can only open up to one person and i'm afraid to let anyone in
Do you think you are alone in having this secret?
i feel very alone
What would you say to someone else with this secret?
maybe it's for the better
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Wallflower
- one of us
- Posts: 3
- Joined: Tue Aug 18, 2009 11:50 pm
- Gender: Female
Re: Secrets and more (please stay safe)
What is your secret?
Im jelous of my sister
Why is it a secret?
Because its stupid and illogical and selfish and I hate myself for being jelous
What are your feelings about this secret?
Its just not fair that she has everything. Her name, Emily, is normal and popular just like her. But mine is Fluke which just like me, a fluke in my mother's perfect world. Unpopular, invisible, never enough. She looks just like me but people call me the blonde Emily. She's never the brown-haired Fluke. And whats so frustrating about it is that its my fault. I dont even have an original thought. She thought of the highschool, she thought of the sports. I just followed her. And I shouldn't because she's always going to beat me, because shes smarter and prettier and works harder. But having everything wasn't enough for her. She had to take my only two ideas away from me. I wanted to be a doctor since I was a toddler and just last year she decided to become one. I was going to New York to college and to live there, but now she is going to the same college I wanted and living in the city. And now if I do it, I will just be copying her. Always the blonde Emily.
Why are you telling this secret now?
If I can just get it off my chest, I will be able to let it go
Is this something you could change/ do differently tomorrow to make your life better?
Come up with a new plan for life or I could ignor what everyone says, ignor all the comparisons, and finally just do what I want with my life.
Could you challenge yourself to open up to someone about it?
Maybe I could tell my sister but its not her fault that we are compared
Do you think you are alone in having this secret?
no, but its still shameful to be so childish, I wonder if she has ever felt the same way about me ever?
What would you say to someone else with this secret?
It doesn't matter what others say, no matter if someone else has thought of it, as long as its something that you love, keep doing it.
Im jelous of my sister
Why is it a secret?
Because its stupid and illogical and selfish and I hate myself for being jelous
What are your feelings about this secret?
Its just not fair that she has everything. Her name, Emily, is normal and popular just like her. But mine is Fluke which just like me, a fluke in my mother's perfect world. Unpopular, invisible, never enough. She looks just like me but people call me the blonde Emily. She's never the brown-haired Fluke. And whats so frustrating about it is that its my fault. I dont even have an original thought. She thought of the highschool, she thought of the sports. I just followed her. And I shouldn't because she's always going to beat me, because shes smarter and prettier and works harder. But having everything wasn't enough for her. She had to take my only two ideas away from me. I wanted to be a doctor since I was a toddler and just last year she decided to become one. I was going to New York to college and to live there, but now she is going to the same college I wanted and living in the city. And now if I do it, I will just be copying her. Always the blonde Emily.
Why are you telling this secret now?
If I can just get it off my chest, I will be able to let it go
Is this something you could change/ do differently tomorrow to make your life better?
Come up with a new plan for life or I could ignor what everyone says, ignor all the comparisons, and finally just do what I want with my life.
Could you challenge yourself to open up to someone about it?
Maybe I could tell my sister but its not her fault that we are compared
Do you think you are alone in having this secret?
no, but its still shameful to be so childish, I wonder if she has ever felt the same way about me ever?
What would you say to someone else with this secret?
It doesn't matter what others say, no matter if someone else has thought of it, as long as its something that you love, keep doing it.
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Wallflower
- one of us
- Posts: 3
- Joined: Tue Aug 18, 2009 11:50 pm
- Gender: Female
Re: Secrets and more (please stay safe)
What is your seceret?
I feel so alone
Why is it a secret?
Because Im not. I have a family. I sit with friends at the lunch table. It seems like they are moving without me though. Sometimes Ill look around at the people next to me and wonder who they are. I don't know anyone and no one knows me
What are your feelings about this secret?
No matter how much I say Im ok with being invisible, IM NOT. Sometimes I just want to scream at people. LISTEN TO ME! I dont want to be alone forever. Its like im not real. I want to be normal but I can't, especially now.
Why are you telling this secret now?
If I don't, I just might dissapear into thin air
Is this something you could change/ do differently tomorrow to make your life better?
NO thats the problem
Could you challenge yourself to open up to someone about it?
no then they would throw me into a psyc ward
Do you think you are alone in having this secret?
no, I hope not
What would you say to someone else with this secret?
Your not alone, we are alone together
I feel so alone
Why is it a secret?
Because Im not. I have a family. I sit with friends at the lunch table. It seems like they are moving without me though. Sometimes Ill look around at the people next to me and wonder who they are. I don't know anyone and no one knows me
What are your feelings about this secret?
No matter how much I say Im ok with being invisible, IM NOT. Sometimes I just want to scream at people. LISTEN TO ME! I dont want to be alone forever. Its like im not real. I want to be normal but I can't, especially now.
Why are you telling this secret now?
If I don't, I just might dissapear into thin air
Is this something you could change/ do differently tomorrow to make your life better?
NO thats the problem
Could you challenge yourself to open up to someone about it?
no then they would throw me into a psyc ward
Do you think you are alone in having this secret?
no, I hope not
What would you say to someone else with this secret?
Your not alone, we are alone together
Re: Secrets and more (please stay safe)
What is your seceret?
I slipped, badly, and i feel better for it
Why is it a secret?
i can't let ppl know thta i feel better for something that hurts them
What are your feelings about this secret?
I love cutting and i shouldn't so i guess, guilt, shame, embarassment
Why are you telling this secret now?
no one irl can know
Is this something you could change/ do differently tomorrow to make your life better?
nope. i feel like i'll never stop cutting.
Could you challenge yourself to open up to someone about it?
not a chance
Do you think you are alone in having this secret?
doubt it
What would you say to someone else with this secret?
things will get better over time...? you've stopped for periods at a time so you can do it.
I slipped, badly, and i feel better for it
Why is it a secret?
i can't let ppl know thta i feel better for something that hurts them
What are your feelings about this secret?
I love cutting and i shouldn't so i guess, guilt, shame, embarassment
Why are you telling this secret now?
no one irl can know
Is this something you could change/ do differently tomorrow to make your life better?
nope. i feel like i'll never stop cutting.
Could you challenge yourself to open up to someone about it?
not a chance
Do you think you are alone in having this secret?
doubt it
What would you say to someone else with this secret?
things will get better over time...? you've stopped for periods at a time so you can do it.
"A prayer for the wild at heart, kept in cages"
http://buslist.org/phpBB/viewtopic.php?f=19&t=135967 <<<My Place (please read and comment; it are lonely here )
LoverlyLaurie is my soul sister
Roxi is my twisted sister
http://buslist.org/phpBB/viewtopic.php?f=19&t=135967 <<<My Place (please read and comment; it are lonely here
)LoverlyLaurie is my soul sister
Roxi is my twisted sister
Re: Secrets and more (please stay safe)
What is your secret?
I have so much unnecessary hurt that I don't know what to do with.
Why is it a secret?
I bring all of it upon myself. If I had a better mindset my life would be normal.
What are your feelings about this secret?
Hopeless, disgusted, sad.
Why are you telling this secret now?
It's preventing me from drinking and SIing.
Is this something you could change/do differently tomorrow to make your life better?
Be proactive, not sit around all day and feel sorry for myself.
Could you challenge yourself to open up to someone about it?
If I had friends, maybe. Probably not.
Do you think you are alone in having this secret?
Probably not.
What would you say to someone else with this secret?
That I'm just as hopeless as them.
I have so much unnecessary hurt that I don't know what to do with.
Why is it a secret?
I bring all of it upon myself. If I had a better mindset my life would be normal.
What are your feelings about this secret?
Hopeless, disgusted, sad.
Why are you telling this secret now?
It's preventing me from drinking and SIing.
Is this something you could change/do differently tomorrow to make your life better?
Be proactive, not sit around all day and feel sorry for myself.
Could you challenge yourself to open up to someone about it?
If I had friends, maybe. Probably not.
Do you think you are alone in having this secret?
Probably not.
What would you say to someone else with this secret?
That I'm just as hopeless as them.
"And then, something happened. I let go. Lost in oblivion. Dark and silent and complete. I found freedom. Losing all hope was freedom."
A bit lost...
A bit lost...-
catylyx,ver.2
- orange smartie
- Posts: 1818
- Joined: Fri Nov 10, 2006 4:37 am
- Location: a fuzzy place.
- Contact:
Re: Secrets and more (please stay safe)
**ed**
What is your secret?
i want to relapse back into my ED
Why is it a secret?
because i've already promised i would get help. and it scares my loved ones enough as it is just the fact that i COULD relapse. let alone that i want to. your not supposed to want something like this...
What are your feelings about this secret?
guilt. frustration. anxiety. fear.
....and sickeningly enough hope that it'll happen.
Why are you telling this secret now?
because keeping it bottled up is driving me crazy.
and scaring me that if i don't get it out i may actually do it.
Is this something you could change/ do differently tomorrow to make your life better?
sadly i don't think the want is going to go away.
there are steps i can take to try and lock in that i get help.
but this requires telling someone [mostly likely my mom] that i need help actually going through with it.
and thats actually the hard part right now.
Could you challenge yourself to open up to someone about it?
challenge myself yes. actually doing it is another matter.
my parents are stressed over the holidays, my friend can't really help, and any time i bring this up with my boys they usually end up crying because it scares them.
Do you think you are alone in having this secret?
certainly not.
What would you say to someone else with this secret?
GET HELP. its okay to be afraid. and wanting it is part of the reason why it keeps you trapped. you can get help for this. i'll help you if you need it.
**pms/comments welcome just in case**
What is your secret?
i want to relapse back into my ED
Why is it a secret?
because i've already promised i would get help. and it scares my loved ones enough as it is just the fact that i COULD relapse. let alone that i want to. your not supposed to want something like this...
What are your feelings about this secret?
guilt. frustration. anxiety. fear.
....and sickeningly enough hope that it'll happen.
Why are you telling this secret now?
because keeping it bottled up is driving me crazy.
and scaring me that if i don't get it out i may actually do it.
Is this something you could change/ do differently tomorrow to make your life better?
sadly i don't think the want is going to go away.
there are steps i can take to try and lock in that i get help.
but this requires telling someone [mostly likely my mom] that i need help actually going through with it.
and thats actually the hard part right now.
Could you challenge yourself to open up to someone about it?
challenge myself yes. actually doing it is another matter.
my parents are stressed over the holidays, my friend can't really help, and any time i bring this up with my boys they usually end up crying because it scares them.
Do you think you are alone in having this secret?
certainly not.
What would you say to someone else with this secret?
GET HELP. its okay to be afraid. and wanting it is part of the reason why it keeps you trapped. you can get help for this. i'll help you if you need it.
**pms/comments welcome just in case**
-
amerylis
- board admin emeritus
- Posts: 6806
- Joined: Fri Oct 22, 2004 5:33 pm
- Gender: Female
- Location: UK
Re: Secrets and more (please stay safe)
What is your secret?
I have no motivation for anything
Why is it a secret?
because I'm supposed to be a successful 2:1 uni and I cant explain it
What are your feelings about this secret?
ashamed at my laziness
Why are you telling this secret now?
because I like these questions
Is this something you could change/ do differently tomorrow to make your life better?
possibly but I don't know how
Could you challenge yourself to open up to someone about it?
not sure how to, I can't explain it to myself let alone others
Do you think you are alone in having this secret?
I honestly dont know
What would you say to someone else with this secret?
Is it ok to be this way?
replies/pm welcome
I have no motivation for anything
Why is it a secret?
because I'm supposed to be a successful 2:1 uni and I cant explain it
What are your feelings about this secret?
ashamed at my laziness
Why are you telling this secret now?
because I like these questions
Is this something you could change/ do differently tomorrow to make your life better?
possibly but I don't know how
Could you challenge yourself to open up to someone about it?
not sure how to, I can't explain it to myself let alone others
Do you think you are alone in having this secret?
I honestly dont know
What would you say to someone else with this secret?
Is it ok to be this way?
replies/pm welcome
~~Panda~~
6000 - 6999 - awe-inspiring
~my Place~ all welcome
To the world you are one person, but to one person you may be the world.
3 years SI free since May 2013
6 years SI free Jan 2007 - Feb 2013 with lapses in March/April 2013
6000 - 6999 - awe-inspiring
~my Place~ all welcome
To the world you are one person, but to one person you may be the world.
3 years SI free since May 2013
6 years SI free Jan 2007 - Feb 2013 with lapses in March/April 2013
Re: Secrets and more (please stay safe)
What is your secret?
I believe my life has been negatively affected by my parents. My family has been dysfunctional. I want to be open about how I feel and express it, not in hiding. I want to be openly sad and maybe even angry sometimes.
Why is it a secret?
Because my parents would never see it from my perspective, they would either blame themselves (especially my mother) or be really offended. They wouldn't care how I feel. And the rest of my family would judge me as selfish, and that I'm doing something wrong.
What are your feelings about this secret?
I hate that I have to bottle everything up inside. I'm a christian but that doesn't mean I am perfect or don't feel sad or depressed because of things that have happened in my life. Even though I want to express some of my sadness and anger, doesn't mean I don't love God. I want to get it out and move on and I don't feel I can do that if I keep it all hidden inside. And also I fear that I would have bad influence on somebody if I say anything negative.
Why are you telling this secret now?
Because I'm going crazy keeping it all inside! And I feel so alone because I can't share who I am and think with anyone!
Is this something you could change/ do differently tomorrow to make your life better?
I have no idea
Could you challenge yourself to open up to someone about it?
Honestly? not really.. cause I'm terrified of what other people think of me and I'm terrified of being a bad example. I share some of my bad feelings rarely and then I feel like I've bothered people and feel selfish.
Do you think you are alone in having this secret?
I don't know
What would you say to someone else with this secret?
I know what you're going through
I'm sorry that this sounds so negative.. I just wanted it of my chest
I believe my life has been negatively affected by my parents. My family has been dysfunctional. I want to be open about how I feel and express it, not in hiding. I want to be openly sad and maybe even angry sometimes.
Why is it a secret?
Because my parents would never see it from my perspective, they would either blame themselves (especially my mother) or be really offended. They wouldn't care how I feel. And the rest of my family would judge me as selfish, and that I'm doing something wrong.
What are your feelings about this secret?
I hate that I have to bottle everything up inside. I'm a christian but that doesn't mean I am perfect or don't feel sad or depressed because of things that have happened in my life. Even though I want to express some of my sadness and anger, doesn't mean I don't love God. I want to get it out and move on and I don't feel I can do that if I keep it all hidden inside. And also I fear that I would have bad influence on somebody if I say anything negative.
Why are you telling this secret now?
Because I'm going crazy keeping it all inside! And I feel so alone because I can't share who I am and think with anyone!
Is this something you could change/ do differently tomorrow to make your life better?
I have no idea
Could you challenge yourself to open up to someone about it?
Honestly? not really.. cause I'm terrified of what other people think of me and I'm terrified of being a bad example. I share some of my bad feelings rarely and then I feel like I've bothered people and feel selfish.
Do you think you are alone in having this secret?
I don't know
What would you say to someone else with this secret?
I know what you're going through
I'm sorry that this sounds so negative.. I just wanted it of my chest
Concealing an illness is like keeping a beach ball under water.
Karen Duffy
Karen Duffy
-
capricorn
- awe-inspiring
- Posts: 6410
- Joined: Sun Jan 03, 2010 10:21 pm
- Gender: Female
- Location: London, UK
- Contact:
Re: Secrets and more (please stay safe)
What is your secret?
I'm sick of hearing my friends ... well, one particular friend, and then various less important people ... complain & whine all the time. It makes me want to scream. I'm just sick of hearing it, and I have no sympathy anymore. I want to tell her to grow the fuck up and shut the fuck up.
Why is it a secret?
Because she's actually a lovely person and quite a good friend and doesn't deserve my irrational anger, my intolerance and my venom. And because I don't want to be one of those people who is so holier than thou about having more/bigger problems than other people.
What are your feelings about this secret?
It makes me feel like a horrible person. And a horrible friend.
Why are you telling this secret now?
I need to get it off my chest ...
Is this something you could change/ do differently tomorrow to make your life better?
I could try and meditate and release some of the anger ... think about all the positive things she does for me ... not go on fb so I don't see the whiny statuses. I could try to express my own problems a bit more so I don't resent people that express theirs while I repress mine.
Could you challenge yourself to open up to someone about it?
I could ... but I don't want to be one of those people that bitches about their friends behind their back.
Do you think you are alone in having this secret?
Probably not, if you mean in general, being pissed off with a friend for doing this.
What would you say to someone else with this secret?
I don't know. That I can relate? To talk to them and try being more open?
That being angry doesn't make you a bad person ...
I'm sick of hearing my friends ... well, one particular friend, and then various less important people ... complain & whine all the time. It makes me want to scream. I'm just sick of hearing it, and I have no sympathy anymore. I want to tell her to grow the fuck up and shut the fuck up.
Why is it a secret?
Because she's actually a lovely person and quite a good friend and doesn't deserve my irrational anger, my intolerance and my venom. And because I don't want to be one of those people who is so holier than thou about having more/bigger problems than other people.
What are your feelings about this secret?
It makes me feel like a horrible person. And a horrible friend.
Why are you telling this secret now?
I need to get it off my chest ...
Is this something you could change/ do differently tomorrow to make your life better?
I could try and meditate and release some of the anger ... think about all the positive things she does for me ... not go on fb so I don't see the whiny statuses. I could try to express my own problems a bit more so I don't resent people that express theirs while I repress mine.
Could you challenge yourself to open up to someone about it?
I could ... but I don't want to be one of those people that bitches about their friends behind their back.
Do you think you are alone in having this secret?
Probably not, if you mean in general, being pissed off with a friend for doing this.
What would you say to someone else with this secret?
I don't know. That I can relate? To talk to them and try being more open?
That being angry doesn't make you a bad person ...
~Capri
xoxo
"Awake and unafraid."
My Chemical Romance
"I am haunted by humans."
The Book Thief
"Been trying hard not to get into trouble, but I've got a war in my mind."
Lana Del Rey
"It's always darkest just before the dawn. So stay awake with me. Let's prove them wrong."
Rise Against
"I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain."
Dune
xoxo
"Awake and unafraid."
My Chemical Romance
"I am haunted by humans."
The Book Thief
"Been trying hard not to get into trouble, but I've got a war in my mind."
Lana Del Rey
"It's always darkest just before the dawn. So stay awake with me. Let's prove them wrong."
Rise Against
"I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain."
Dune
-
badgirl22
- driving instructor
- Posts: 5657
- Joined: Mon Sep 22, 2003 8:18 am
- Location: Bay area, CA USA
- Contact:
Re: Secrets and more (please stay safe)
***ED**
what is my secret? I want to kill my body
Why is it a secret?because I can't tell anyone this
What are your feelings about this secret?I feel guilty, angry, and frustrated
Why are you telling this secret now?Because it has been in me for a long time
Is this something you could change/ do differently tomorrow to make your life better?I dono honestly. I can't fight my ed anymore. Its to strong.
Could you challenge yourself to open up to someone about it? no because I would be put away for life.
Do you think you are alone in having this secret?yes.
What would you say to someone else with this secret?THat I understand how hard it is to fight. That I understand how much wanting to loose weight is essential
I am scared of this secret. I am scared of what it is doing to me.
-Badgirl22
what is my secret? I want to kill my body
Why is it a secret?because I can't tell anyone this
What are your feelings about this secret?I feel guilty, angry, and frustrated
Why are you telling this secret now?Because it has been in me for a long time
Is this something you could change/ do differently tomorrow to make your life better?I dono honestly. I can't fight my ed anymore. Its to strong.
Could you challenge yourself to open up to someone about it? no because I would be put away for life.
Do you think you are alone in having this secret?yes.
What would you say to someone else with this secret?THat I understand how hard it is to fight. That I understand how much wanting to loose weight is essential
I am scared of this secret. I am scared of what it is doing to me.
-Badgirl22
-
xXelmoscaresmeXx
- knows the ropes
- Posts: 4533
- Joined: Thu May 07, 2009 10:40 pm
- Gender: Girl
- Location: MD Age:23
Re: Secrets and more (please stay safe)
What is your secret?
i'm still purging and restricting. and i don't want to stop.
Why is it a secret?
b/c i need it to be, if someone found out, they'd make me stop.
What are your feelings about this secret?
i'm ashamed, and paranoid that someone will find out.
Why are you telling this secret now?
'cause i'm scared.
Is this something you could change/ do differently tomorrow to make your life better?
i'm not even sure anymore...
Could you challenge yourself to open up to someone about it?
not yet
Do you think you are alone in having this secret?
no
What would you say to someone else with this secret?
i don't think i'd be able to help...
i'm still purging and restricting. and i don't want to stop.
Why is it a secret?
b/c i need it to be, if someone found out, they'd make me stop.
What are your feelings about this secret?
i'm ashamed, and paranoid that someone will find out.
Why are you telling this secret now?
'cause i'm scared.
Is this something you could change/ do differently tomorrow to make your life better?
i'm not even sure anymore...
Could you challenge yourself to open up to someone about it?
not yet
Do you think you are alone in having this secret?
no
What would you say to someone else with this secret?
i don't think i'd be able to help...
Recovery is possible, I promise
My Aunt is Ultimate Starshine. My mom is snowangel_03. My big sisters are jadestarwalking and Birdie.
dont click this link
Facts of life:
-Purple monkeys eat grapes, not bananas.
-The answer to life is five point tomato [toe-may-toe]
-Zebra is not 'zee-brah' it's f-ing 'Z-eh-brah' like Debra
-You will need to count your toes
-The f-ing Zebra will ALWAYS eat your cookie. Nothing will stop it
-Pooh Bear is dead
-There will always be a moose, don't fight it, it will win
-----My Expressions-----
-----My Place-----
-----My PBH-----
*Stephanie*
My Aunt is Ultimate Starshine. My mom is snowangel_03. My big sisters are jadestarwalking and Birdie.
dont click this link
Facts of life:
-Purple monkeys eat grapes, not bananas.
-The answer to life is five point tomato [toe-may-toe]
-Zebra is not 'zee-brah' it's f-ing 'Z-eh-brah' like Debra
-You will need to count your toes
-The f-ing Zebra will ALWAYS eat your cookie. Nothing will stop it
-Pooh Bear is dead
-There will always be a moose, don't fight it, it will win
-----My Place-----
-----My PBH-----
*Stephanie*
-
Stormy Llwellyn
- bus addict
- Posts: 2882
- Joined: Sat Nov 14, 2009 11:45 pm
- Location: At Physical Therapy most of the time.
Re: Secrets and more (please stay safe)
*sa*
what is your secret?
I was sexually assaulted by a teacher in H.S.
Why is it a secret?
Becuse I am ashamed, I didn't report him
What are your feelings about this secret?
Disgust
Why are you telling this secret now?
I want it off my chest and out of my mind. Maybe telling someone other my T will help
Is this something you could change/ do differently tomorrow to make your life better?
I do not call myself a victim but a survivor
Could you challenge yourself to open up to someone about it?
NO
Do you think you are alone in having this secret?
No, there are so many victims out there who are keeping it a secret it hurts me.
What would you say to someone else with this secret?You did not choose to be a victim, but you can choose to be a survivor
what is your secret?
I was sexually assaulted by a teacher in H.S.
Why is it a secret?
Becuse I am ashamed, I didn't report him
What are your feelings about this secret?
Disgust
Why are you telling this secret now?
I want it off my chest and out of my mind. Maybe telling someone other my T will help
Is this something you could change/ do differently tomorrow to make your life better?
I do not call myself a victim but a survivor
Could you challenge yourself to open up to someone about it?
NO
Do you think you are alone in having this secret?
No, there are so many victims out there who are keeping it a secret it hurts me.
What would you say to someone else with this secret?You did not choose to be a victim, but you can choose to be a survivor
Mike's Place
God,grant me the Serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
Courage to change the things I can,
and the Wisdom to know the difference
TWLOHA
Kaylee
God,grant me the Serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
Courage to change the things I can,
and the Wisdom to know the difference
TWLOHA
Kaylee-
PokemonGeek
- town councillor
- Posts: 1535
- Joined: Sat Jun 13, 2009 6:33 pm
- Gender: Male
- Location: latrobe pa
Re: Secrets and more (please stay safe)
What is your secret?
I really haven't gotten over the death of Heath Ledger after two years.
Why is it a secret?
I haven't told many people how his death affected me.
What are your feelings about this secret?
I feel upset and don't understand why he had to die and yet someone like Charles Manson could live.
Why are you telling this secret now?
I need to move on.
Is this something you could change/ do differently tomorrow to make your life better?
No
Could you challenge yourself to open up to someone about it?
Yes, I just did.
Do you think you are alone in having this secret?
Maybe
What would you say to someone else with this secret?
Not Sure
What is your secret?
I was sexually harassed in the ninth grade by two other boys. I know that they did it for a fact.
Why is it a secret?
It's embarassing and uncomfortable to talk about especially since I'm a guy. I also haven't really told anyone about the incidents either.
What are your feelings about this secret?
It still haunts me and I can still feel the finger touching me inappropriately.
Why are you telling this secret now?
I really should tell my therapist. I went through several of them and only one had found out about it.
Is this something you could change/ do differently tomorrow to make your life better?
Yes
Could you challenge yourself to open up to someone about it?
Yes, I should
Do you think you are alone in having this secret?
No
What would you say to someone else with this secret?
You are not alone.
I really haven't gotten over the death of Heath Ledger after two years.
Why is it a secret?
I haven't told many people how his death affected me.
What are your feelings about this secret?
I feel upset and don't understand why he had to die and yet someone like Charles Manson could live.
Why are you telling this secret now?
I need to move on.
Is this something you could change/ do differently tomorrow to make your life better?
No
Could you challenge yourself to open up to someone about it?
Yes, I just did.
Do you think you are alone in having this secret?
Maybe
What would you say to someone else with this secret?
Not Sure
What is your secret?
I was sexually harassed in the ninth grade by two other boys. I know that they did it for a fact.
Why is it a secret?
It's embarassing and uncomfortable to talk about especially since I'm a guy. I also haven't really told anyone about the incidents either.
What are your feelings about this secret?
It still haunts me and I can still feel the finger touching me inappropriately.
Why are you telling this secret now?
I really should tell my therapist. I went through several of them and only one had found out about it.
Is this something you could change/ do differently tomorrow to make your life better?
Yes
Could you challenge yourself to open up to someone about it?
Yes, I should
Do you think you are alone in having this secret?
No
What would you say to someone else with this secret?
You are not alone.
I will survive
Oh as long as I know how to love
I know I'll stay alive
I've got all my life to live,
I've got all my love to give, and I'll survive
I will survive
~Gloria Gaynor
"Maybe you don't need the whole world to love you; maybe you just need one person"
-Kermit the Frog~The Muppets
"Don't pawn your garbage off on me!"~Watchy Watchog (Pokemon Black/White)
BUS Family:
s0_vERY_sCaReD
Somehow the wires uncrossed
The tables were turned
Never knew I had such a lesson to learn
I'm feeling good from my head to my shoes
I know where I'm going and I know what to do
I've tidied up my point of view
I've got a new attitude!
˜Patti LaBelle
Oh as long as I know how to love
I know I'll stay alive
I've got all my life to live,
I've got all my love to give, and I'll survive
I will survive
~Gloria Gaynor
"Maybe you don't need the whole world to love you; maybe you just need one person"
-Kermit the Frog~The Muppets
"Don't pawn your garbage off on me!"~Watchy Watchog (Pokemon Black/White)
BUS Family:
s0_vERY_sCaReD
Somehow the wires uncrossed
The tables were turned
Never knew I had such a lesson to learn
I'm feeling good from my head to my shoes
I know where I'm going and I know what to do
I've tidied up my point of view
I've got a new attitude!
˜Patti LaBelle
-
Licentia Poetica
- forum moderator emeritus
- Posts: 24935
- Joined: Sat Jan 25, 2003 10:06 am
- Gender: Female
- Location: Australia
- Contact:
Re: Secrets and more (please stay safe)
BUMPITY!
the time to tell a person you care is now the paper crane chain of hope 
If we knew each other's secrets, what comforts we should find.
John Churton Collins
-
Snaffle-Mouth
- sprouting branches
- Posts: 1196
- Joined: Thu May 12, 2011 4:13 pm
- Gender: Female
- Location: UK
Re: Secrets and more (please stay safe)
What is your secret?
I want to tell my friend how bad I'm feeling, especially because she keeps telling me she thinks one of our other friends is depressed and it makes me want to scream "how come you're prepared to help her, but no-one can see how much I'm struggling?"
Why is it a secret?
Because a) I don't want to burden my friend with my problems when she's already burdened with other people's and b) I don't know how to even begin that conversation without sounding really whiney and attention-seeking and c) even if she did know there's nothing she could do to make me feel better so what's the point of telling her anyway?
What are your feelings about this secret?
I feel pathetic for wanting to talk to her about it because it's not like it would make a difference. I feel angry with her for not seeing how unhappy I am, but that's unfair of me because of course she can't see it when I'm deliberately hiding it all the time.
Why are you telling this secret now?
Because I'm hoping that telling BUS will be almost as good as telling someone IRL.
Is this something you could change/ do differently tomorrow to make your life better?
I don't think so.
Could you challenge yourself to open up to someone about it?
I could challenge myself, but I don't think I'd be able to do it or I would've done it by now.
Do you think you are alone in having this secret?
Probably not.
What would you say to someone else with this secret?
I suppose I'd tell them to tell her.
I want to tell my friend how bad I'm feeling, especially because she keeps telling me she thinks one of our other friends is depressed and it makes me want to scream "how come you're prepared to help her, but no-one can see how much I'm struggling?"
Why is it a secret?
Because a) I don't want to burden my friend with my problems when she's already burdened with other people's and b) I don't know how to even begin that conversation without sounding really whiney and attention-seeking and c) even if she did know there's nothing she could do to make me feel better so what's the point of telling her anyway?
What are your feelings about this secret?
I feel pathetic for wanting to talk to her about it because it's not like it would make a difference. I feel angry with her for not seeing how unhappy I am, but that's unfair of me because of course she can't see it when I'm deliberately hiding it all the time.
Why are you telling this secret now?
Because I'm hoping that telling BUS will be almost as good as telling someone IRL.
Is this something you could change/ do differently tomorrow to make your life better?
I don't think so.
Could you challenge yourself to open up to someone about it?
I could challenge myself, but I don't think I'd be able to do it or I would've done it by now.
Do you think you are alone in having this secret?
Probably not.
What would you say to someone else with this secret?
I suppose I'd tell them to tell her.
-
disastercake
- forum moderator emeritus
- Posts: 3342
- Joined: Sun Oct 02, 2005 1:12 am
- Gender: Female
- Location: USA
Re: Secrets and more (please stay safe)
What is your secret?
Although I can do many things well and excel at the majority of tasks I take on, I often feel inadequate.
Why is it a secret?
I have everything going for me in life, people would think I am just being ungrateful or dramatic if I let on that I am anything but happy with my success and blessings in life.
What are your feelings about this secret?
Fake it till you make it. Everyone sees a successful, confident, bright student about to graduate for college who has the world ahead of her, and while I am confident in many things and I think my self-esteem is decent, there is still that ubiquitous, nagging thought/feeling if inadequacy.
Why are you telling this secret now?
I wanted to challenge myself to answer this thread, and since I will be moving up and on in the world with my internship I am in and my Bachelor degree I will have in December, self-awareness is important.
Is this something you could change/ do differently tomorrow to make your life better?
I could use more positive self-talk. Well, I could try it even though I never really have. I will, however, make the most of my day at my internship and learn what I can and ask questions so I can become competent in my field.
Could you challenge yourself to open up to someone about it?
I could, but I have to be careful who I open up to. People who feel as though they are inadequate in the first place, or see themselves as "having less," have reacted badly. It's scary, sharing feelings of weakness or inadequacy and facing the possibility of someone's reaction making those feelings worse.
Do you think you are alone in having this secret?
No, I am sure there are a lot of people who always push themselves and are hard on themselves, thus leading to the same feelings I have.
What would you say to someone else with this secret?
That they are doing wonderful, many people are proud of them, and maybe talking to people they look up to and trying to open up would help them deal with the feelings.
Although I can do many things well and excel at the majority of tasks I take on, I often feel inadequate.
Why is it a secret?
I have everything going for me in life, people would think I am just being ungrateful or dramatic if I let on that I am anything but happy with my success and blessings in life.
What are your feelings about this secret?
Fake it till you make it. Everyone sees a successful, confident, bright student about to graduate for college who has the world ahead of her, and while I am confident in many things and I think my self-esteem is decent, there is still that ubiquitous, nagging thought/feeling if inadequacy.
Why are you telling this secret now?
I wanted to challenge myself to answer this thread, and since I will be moving up and on in the world with my internship I am in and my Bachelor degree I will have in December, self-awareness is important.
Is this something you could change/ do differently tomorrow to make your life better?
I could use more positive self-talk. Well, I could try it even though I never really have. I will, however, make the most of my day at my internship and learn what I can and ask questions so I can become competent in my field.
Could you challenge yourself to open up to someone about it?
I could, but I have to be careful who I open up to. People who feel as though they are inadequate in the first place, or see themselves as "having less," have reacted badly. It's scary, sharing feelings of weakness or inadequacy and facing the possibility of someone's reaction making those feelings worse.
Do you think you are alone in having this secret?
No, I am sure there are a lot of people who always push themselves and are hard on themselves, thus leading to the same feelings I have.
What would you say to someone else with this secret?
That they are doing wonderful, many people are proud of them, and maybe talking to people they look up to and trying to open up would help them deal with the feelings.
-Al you will walk the earth with your eyes turned skywards,
for there you have been,
and there you long to return..."
- Leonardo da Vinci
-
tuliptorn
- settling in
- Posts: 80
- Joined: Wed Jul 09, 2008 12:35 pm
- Gender: Female
- Location: Missouri
- Contact:
Re: Secrets and more (please stay safe)
What is your secret?
I am scared that I made up the abuse. Maybe I'm the monster instead of them. It makes me want to cut, punch or burn myself more. Endlessly.
Why is it a secret?
Only because my family does not know I am struggling with this and my father is a hero to them - he died the day after Christmas. They might know about the SA with the neighbor, I just don't know and too afraid to ask.
What are your feelings about this secret? I hate myself for loving him. Missing him. If I am wrong it's too late to apologize. Too late.
Why are you telling this secret now?
I am anonymous here.
Is this something you could change/ do differently tomorrow to make your life better?
I don't think so.
Could you challenge yourself to open up to someone about it?
I talk to my therapist. He listens well. I hope I have not conned him too.
Do you think you are alone in having this secret?
Yes and no. No because I am a member of another message board where people share their thoughts and feelings about being SA.
Yes, because I'm the only African American I know of who struggles with SI. Yes, very alone. Maybe that's a good thing, idk.
What would you say to someone else with this secret?
It's alright baby, I believe you.
PM's okay.
I am scared that I made up the abuse. Maybe I'm the monster instead of them. It makes me want to cut, punch or burn myself more. Endlessly.
Why is it a secret?
Only because my family does not know I am struggling with this and my father is a hero to them - he died the day after Christmas. They might know about the SA with the neighbor, I just don't know and too afraid to ask.
What are your feelings about this secret? I hate myself for loving him. Missing him. If I am wrong it's too late to apologize. Too late.
Why are you telling this secret now?
I am anonymous here.
Is this something you could change/ do differently tomorrow to make your life better?
I don't think so.
Could you challenge yourself to open up to someone about it?
I talk to my therapist. He listens well. I hope I have not conned him too.
Do you think you are alone in having this secret?
Yes and no. No because I am a member of another message board where people share their thoughts and feelings about being SA.
Yes, because I'm the only African American I know of who struggles with SI. Yes, very alone. Maybe that's a good thing, idk.
What would you say to someone else with this secret?
It's alright baby, I believe you.
PM's okay.
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