Search found 34 matches

by ShellyT
Wed Apr 22, 2015 1:31 am
Forum: coping
Topic: Last time I wanted to SI, I didn't because...
Replies: 41
Views: 18328

Re: Last time I wanted to SI, I didn't because...

I wanted to be able to tell my SO that I had resisted the urge instead of giving in. Because a few days ago my sister was telling me how much better she was doing with managing her own ED triggers. Because I knew I could ride my bike later instead of SI'ing now. Because I had to drive home. So I cri...
by ShellyT
Thu May 21, 2009 10:50 pm
Forum: coping
Topic: Right Now I Feel... Version 2.0
Replies: 4409
Views: 108363

Tired. Lethargic. Sad. Bored. Uninterested. Hopeless. Grey.
by ShellyT
Thu May 15, 2008 8:27 am
Forum: before and after
Topic: Before
Replies: 1
Views: 104

Before

So this is my first post in this forum. I've been struggling with sort of a relapse of my SI lately. Particularly now. I don't think I'll actually SI now. But I want to look at what's going on with me. how will this situation or feeling change if i hurt myself? I'll probably get that quick relief. B...
by ShellyT
Sun Mar 09, 2008 5:01 am
Forum: coping
Topic: Strike Back of Secrets! [The Secrets Thread - Read 1st Post]
Replies: 1638
Views: 60926

I slept with C. But I dreamed about J.
by ShellyT
Sun Mar 09, 2008 4:58 am
Forum: coping
Topic: Things Left Unsaid - Version 3.0 *Language*
Replies: 4840
Views: 136657

No. It's not ok that you made an "executive" decision. I'm the fucking director. You clear things with ME first before making any IMPORTANT decisions. Did they vote either of you director? NO. They voted for me. Don't fucking patronize me. You're both business managers. Don't do my fucking job. FUCK...
by ShellyT
Sat Feb 16, 2008 2:21 am
Forum: coping
Topic: Post a gratitude
Replies: 88
Views: 2959

I'm grateful to my friend Joseph. He's been there for me for a while. He always has great advice, and he makes sure that I stand up for myself. He's a great friend.
by ShellyT
Wed Jan 23, 2008 6:03 pm
Forum: coping
Topic: last time i wanted to si, i didn't because.......
Replies: 1252
Views: 44656

I guess I just really didn't want to.
by ShellyT
Fri Jan 18, 2008 6:10 am
Forum: coping
Topic: Urges in company
Replies: 21
Views: 1108

Whenever I was in public and wanted to SI, I would always get very withdrawn and isolate myself from everyone around me. I would just get absorbed in the thoughts that were going through my head and wouldn't be able to focus on anything else. Maybe you could try focusing really hard on what's going ...
by ShellyT
Thu Jan 17, 2008 2:03 pm
Forum: coping
Topic: Strike Back of Secrets! [The Secrets Thread - Read 1st Post]
Replies: 1638
Views: 60926

Even though I'm in a committed relationship, even though I love him with all my heart...I want to f*ck my best friend. :oops:
by ShellyT
Wed Jan 16, 2008 3:33 am
Forum: coping
Topic: Strike Back of Secrets! [The Secrets Thread - Read 1st Post]
Replies: 1638
Views: 60926

It kills me to say this. I think I'm attracted to him because I'm not satisfied with our sex life.
by ShellyT
Wed Jan 16, 2008 3:30 am
Forum: coping
Topic: WOW @ New Method *SI*
Replies: 8
Views: 404

Wow, what an inventive coping method. Congrats for figuring it out. :)
by ShellyT
Wed Jan 16, 2008 3:28 am
Forum: coping
Topic: Things Left Unsaid - Version 3.0 *Language*
Replies: 4840
Views: 136657

Mom, what have I ever done to make you believe that I'm irresponsible and untrustworthy? I've always gotten good grades in high school, and I still work hard in college. I didn't end up like so many other people my age dropping out of college and working a minimum-wage job with no future. I have a f...
by ShellyT
Mon Jan 14, 2008 5:59 pm
Forum: coping
Topic: Things Left Unsaid - Version 3.0 *Language*
Replies: 4840
Views: 136657

i can't stand it! There are so many things floating around in my head, I'm so confused! What I should do, what I shouldn't do, what's best for me, what's best for you, what's best for him, what's best for "the relationship." I don't know! All I know for sure is that I love him. And I want you.
by ShellyT
Sun Sep 30, 2007 5:20 am
Forum: coping
Topic: Things Left Unsaid - Version 3.0 *Language*
Replies: 4840
Views: 136657

i can't fucking do it anymore!!!! I love you, I love you with all my heart, but I can't take it! There's nothing I can do to help you! If you're just going to wallow in your misery and do nothing about. You don't listen to me. I try my hardest to help you and you don't listen to a fucking word I say...
by ShellyT
Mon Feb 07, 2005 11:16 pm
Forum: coping
Topic: Place to cry
Replies: 2185
Views: 69879

again....too dumb to do my math... :omad: :cry:

I'm glad theres a thread here for this...can't cry in real life. They'd suspect something....
by ShellyT
Fri Jan 28, 2005 2:54 am
Forum: coping
Topic: Envisioning SI in your mind...
Replies: 14
Views: 458

yeah. that happens to me a lot, and it brings me a lot closer to SI every time. I just remember how it feels, and it's so tempting :-?
by ShellyT
Fri Jan 28, 2005 2:49 am
Forum: coping
Topic: Place To Wish
Replies: 963
Views: 36061

I wish I was perfect.
by ShellyT
Fri Jan 28, 2005 2:43 am
Forum: coping
Topic: Place to cry
Replies: 2185
Views: 69879

I'm just not good enough. My grades aren't good enough. Sure, I got A's. But not in Calculus. I have a B, but that's just not FUCKING good enough. Why can't I be like the smart kids? I'm sure my parents would be happier with a smarter kid. Or a kid that could actually drive. Or do anything better. s...
by ShellyT
Fri Dec 24, 2004 10:45 pm
Forum: coping
Topic: Things Left Unsaid *LA*
Replies: 1872
Views: 51820

James...i don't really want to hold hands, or kiss you, or anything like that. I just want to be with you. All day. I just like being with you. You're such an awesome guy. I'm just too shy to tell you. I like you. A lot.
by ShellyT
Thu Nov 11, 2004 1:31 am
Forum: coping
Topic: What do you do when you feel triggered, but trapped?
Replies: 6
Views: 296

music is definatley a good idea. If I'm in school, I usually start doodling or writing down song lyrics or something, jsut anything ot distract me. So any things that can distract you from what's going on is good :)