bus

Before You Self-Harm write down the shadow that's hiding behind the urge. look at it. ask yourself: how will this situation or feeling change if i hurt myself? It will bring calm and remove the anger that is not even explainable - everything is irritating me and it is better that irritation gets tak...

I don't think I ever did one of these posts - they didn't really exist when I was at the height of my urges. However things have not been going well lately. Before You Self-Harm write down the shadow that's hiding behind the urge. look at it. ask yourself: how will this situation or feeling change i...

Thanks, yes the support is always exceptionally limited at this time of year - I do not do December well. I did leave emails and the psychologists told me to go and see someone new and I am not up to seeing someone else now. I think it will be easier in the New Year, so maybe if I can just get throu...

[*]have you taken care of your physical wounds? if not, go do that now. we'll wait. Do I need to? They will heal. [*]what had happened just before? I had a big fight with my husband after he changed plans for tomorrow for the second time today and caused great stress and disappointment and anger [*]...

Hey, sorry to hear things are so difficult at the moment. Look around the boards - they have ways of coping with urges. Maybe if you can, it would be wise to get into counselling now if you can. They can help you with a lot fo things - including your relationship problems and difficulties at college...

Please find someone you can talk to or phone an emergency number if you are truely suicidal. Suicide shouldn't be an option in my opinion (and I have attempted SU before) Things can go wrong so easily. Usually people want to kill themselves to stop the pain, when really it would be better to have le...

Oh dear - I think I spent too much time in therapy then :) It is hard to remind yourself that. I told my fiance last night that I was feeling rejected and it was very hard to justify it - I told him I knew he wasn't rejecting me rationally, but that didn't stop how I felt. This is the one thing I ha...

It is hard to deal with any changes and probably body changes are one of the hardest. Usually though it points to the fact that you may not have accepted your body at any stage. One exercise we did at a clinic I went to was to take a shower and examine everything while you were showering - how the t...

I also was diagnosed with BPD and battle with feelings of rejection. The first thing I do is try to remind myself of the reality of the situation - ie be aware that I am feeling rejected and am fearing abandonment. Then I usually have to look at the past issues with the person I think is abandoning ...

There are many reasons for SIing and many also for stopping. People wouldn't SI if it didn't give them something and until stopping can give you more than you get from SIing, you won't want to stop. Its an advantage-disadvantage thing. I think almost every person on this board has gone through a sta...

You could come and visit us here in South Africa. At the moment I can't guarantee the weather since we've had a lot of storms, but anything from 24-33 degrees celcius. Winter can be depressing, but also try to think of the good things about winter - hot chocolate, electric blankets (oh I forgot you ...

Sometimes my "shoulds" are actually my "wants" but that is because my life is so unbalanced. Today is my day off from work and so I SHOULD relax. Yes, I should do the laundry and clean the house, but I should also spend some time on the internet and read a book and sleep lots. I think often we think...

These are good puzzles to do as a distraction. I find if I get into it then my concentration is totally on the puzzle. They seem to be a bit of a craze at the moment.

You could also lock the tools in a strong unbreakable box and just give the key to a friend - then neither your friend nor you could open it. You could also just throw the key away totally - it is far easier to get rid of a key than it is to get rid of a whole box (just make sure you keep no spare k...

I tried a med withdrawal last year December and it was a disaster. I've been meaning to try again for months now, but am much too scared so I keep procrastinating. I want to quit meds for a number of reasons: I hate remembering tablets. I want to get pregnant one day and they aren't safe apparently ...

Welcome to Bus. It sounds like you are having a hard time. Life can be boring. The thing that worries me is that you seem to have given up - you need to be asking - if Monday is like the next Monday and I don't like it, then how can I change it? Kurdt came up with some interesting ideas, and I'm sur...

No, its not wrong not to want to stop, but at the same time I don't agree that you have to stop only for yourself (that may be the most successful way, but its not the only way) We live in society and interact with people who influence the way we behave. Just think of the times you have SIed because...

Each little bit of time you make is a success. As far as urges stopping go, I'm not sure they ever entirely stop, but it does get much easier with time. The reason I say they don't stop is that the urges are usually feelings... Most people cut when they are very angry or upset or frustrated or feeli...

First you have to learn to be gentle to yourself. You've already done yourself harm by not looking after yourself as well as you'd like - don't make it worse by then being harder on yourself. Could you speak to your boss about the job perhaps and get the shift cancelled or reduced - just tell him so...

*hugs* Constant hospitalizations do get to you even if they are for a short time - I was hospitalized nine times in less than two years at one stage for various things. Even without SI I have been hospitalised twice this year for other problems. Hang in there. Work on some strategies to keep you out...