bus

i wish that, if i have to go ip again, it'll be the place i last went to. very very much so.

i wish i could feel more compassion towards myself.

i wish i could handle this without the suicidal thoughts. i wish they'd go away. i wish i was healthy.

angry
sad
grief
like my heart is breaking

i wish the world was a better place, without all this violence.

i want to stop taking my meds.

i wish to find a way to stop fighting wiht myself so i can let the healthy parts take over.

this is great! Thanks!

WAAAAAAAAAH!!!
AAARGGGHHHH!!!!
GRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!
ARGH!!!
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH
WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH
ARGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ARGH
ArGH
ARGH
ARGH

anxious
worried
stressed out
angry

Before: Before You Self-Harm write down the shadow that's hiding behind the urge. look at it. ask yourself: how will this situation or feeling change if i hurt myself? the situation itself won't change. what will hurting myself bring to the situation? what will it take away from the situation? it wi...

i talked to my mother about the abuse yesterday.
adn because i did something good for myeslf today (took a walk in the woods with bf and dogs)

i need to practice saying these things, but i can't because in the moment i am just too overhwelmed with my own emotions. so maybe if i practice here, after the fact, it'll get easier to say them out loud some day: i do not appreciate you laughing at me. you may feel like you know everything - but e...

i feel so used.

anxious

Autobiography in Five Chapters by rinpoche. a tibetan author. this poem really helps me when i'm struggling. I walk down the street. There is a deep hole in the sidewalk I fall in. I am lost ... I am helpless. It isn't my fault. It takes me forever to find a way out. II I walk down the same street....

i'm still fighting against the urges. even if i should give in, i have made it one month. and i have made it this far and no one can take that away from me again. no one.

you are making me so angry, i hate you sometimes. you don'T think about things before you say them, you don't realize how hurtful those things are. you don't see me as an equal, as the adult i've always been foryou. and i hate that. i hate that you see that i know more in some respects, and then com...