bus

I'm worried that I will never be able to really help myself, just everyone else around me.
I'm worried that people will start to give up on me.

I'm thankful for my friends and music.
Together those are my rock, the things that I can always count on.

I want you here with me so bad right now.

You will never know exactly how you make me feel.
Cause as beatiful, worth it, and wonderful you make me feel.
You can make me feel just worthless.

I knew she would find out.
And feel horrible.
I don't want her to feel horrible.

confused.

Fuck it.
Fuck you.
Just fuck.

I want you to hold me and tell me that everything is going to be alright even if it isn't true.
But I really hate that I want it to be you.

I wish tears came so easy in real life, but this makes me feel better.

You're the reason I feel worthless.

I told them. I wanted to go to therapy. They put me there and talked about it like three times since then. They pretended like it didn't exisit in hopes it would go away. My family is great at avoidance. I'm not in therapy anymore. It didn't help me. My parents think it's over the SI. They don't kno...

Sometimes I really just miss you like hell.
And I never would have done the things to you that he did.
I love you more than words can say.
I never would have made you cry like he did.

I really fucking like you.
You make me smile.
You make me laugh.
And it's been awhile since someone has been able to do that like you.

Lost.

You told me you would always know when I'm lying to you.
I looked you in your eyes and told you everything was fine.
I lied.
You didn't know.
You lied too.
I'm sorry, I just knew how dissapointed you would really be if you knew.
I love you too much to see you cry because of me again.

*PM's Ok*


Sometimes I miss you like hell, but I've moved on and so have you and I think that that's what hurts me the most...That you got over me.

*PM's fine*

I can't tell you guys this, because I love you all too much for it.

I just want to be left alone with my green tea, and my comforter, just leave me the fuck alone. For a little while, I'll be alright, I just need to re-evaluate.

Please?

*pms fine* *Let's get one thing straight right now. I love you to death, and I know that I will always love you, I can't change that. And I miss you like hell, I do, there's no lying about that, and the other night when I told you that I meant it, but I can't sit around and wait for you to say you w...

*pms ok* I miss you. I want to fall asleep with your arms around me, and wake up, roll over and be able to see your face. I want you to be the last face I see every night and the last voice I hear. I want to kiss you before I go to work, and come home and be able to know that you are gonna be there....

I still love you and I wish to god that I could make this work enough so we could try this again. But shit happens I guess.