bus

I am so disappointed in you. I couldn't even begin to describe how disappointed I am. I really thought that maybe you'd be okay with it. Just maybe you could be open-minded and see it for what it is. See past all the prejudices and just see me as a girl in love. I know now that you would never be ab...

It's amazing how good I've become at convincing myself and everyone else that I'm okay. I'm not okay. I thought I was but I'm not. I can't do this. I just can't anymore. Everything will be okay in the end, I'm still sure of that but at what cost? And is it even really worth it anyway? What if I'm no...

Thank you. I never thought I'd ever be able to talk to you like that. Thank you for trying to understand me.

I hope I survive this.
I hope I can cope with it all.
I hope I can keep my promises. I hope it's enough.
I hope my Dad's new found attitude lasts.
I hope that attitude will rub off on my Mum.
I hope I am stronger enough.
I hope I don't disappoint them any further.

You will never understand, ever. You can't possibly understand and I don't expect you too but I wish you did. I wish you knew just how hard breathing was at the moment. Just how hard living is. Just how much I suffer. I wish you could see it but you can't. And even if you open your eys for once, you...

Please...please for fuck's sake shut the fuck up! I'm sick of listening to your pathetic bullshit.

Pathetic.
DISGUSTING.
Triggered.

You are a bastard. A fucking bastard. You think your life is so tough. I know it's not exactly easy but you have no idea what tough is. I have an illness. A mental illness. I didn't ask for it. I can't make it magically go away. I'm sorry but it doesn't work like that. I spend all day holed up in my...

Anxious about Dad coming home.
Annoyed with mother.
A little hurt and insulted. Feeling sorry for myself

Sometimes I can't help but think you are a selfish, ignorant bitch. Yeah, everyone has their problems and yes, we don't have all the money in the world but we are much better off than some people. You are so fucking lucky that you have a family and friends and a roof over your head. You might not ha...

So exhausted.

I strongly dislike you right now. I can't believe you would actually do this, then turn around and get angry at me! What a load of fucking bullshit?! You were NOT "cleaning my room" or "moving things to get to the window, so you could air it" You searched it. I don't care what your reasons are. Even...

Dead.
Dead Inside.
Nothing.
Worthless.
Fading away.

I'm loving this way more than I should. I should stop this now before I do something I regret. But I can't seem to convince myself it's the right thing to do. I deserve it and I love the pain.

Anxious.
Frightened.
Like I'm falling apart at the seams.

Like shit. And tired. And anxious. And just...down. So far down

Why do you always wait to hear from me? I am always the one calling you. Why can't you ever give me a call? And why must I text her? You want to go to her house so badly, why don't you text her and ask? You know everything, more than most people. You know I am not coping well and you expect me to ha...

I really hope I am not getting ill. I have a temperature

FFS! What part of 'I DO NOT WANT TO TALK TO YOU' do you not understand???