bus

FUCK YOU, YOU FUCKING TOOK ADVANTAGE OF ME- YOU KNEW I UNDERSTOOD THAT I UNDERSTOOD HOW MUCH THIS SHOW MEANT TO YOU AND TOOK ADVANTAGE OF ME, YOU FUCKING KNEW THAT SHIT WAS JUST FOR HOME, YOU SAID SO AFTER YOU CONVINCED ME TO BUY IT, YOU TOLD ME IT WAS FOR THE SHOW, YOU FUCKING LIED TO ME FUCK YOU F...

at this moment, and it may just be this moment but thats ok, am NOT buying in to your drama and NOT getting emotionally involved.
I will not be your punching bag
I will not be giving with no receiving
I am standing for myself and not letting you bully me

lost, invisible, confused

I'm going to sleep, see what tomorrow brings

alone

my feelings of loneliness and isolation if I could ask for help in a way that my friends would hear.

don't go feigning interest in me, asking how my day was or how the training was if you are in the middle of something- seriously its fucked up

fuck you! why do I fucking bother listening to you complain about everything under the fucking sun and be supportive, yet when I have a fucking problem I get a brick wall. I just want you to fucking hear that I'm frustrated, that I'm annoyed. No you don't want to hear that, you'd rather blow me off ...

I'm curious if anyone has any advice around trying to get someone to believe you about stopping some self destructive behaviors. My roommate asked a while back about things like my taking pills, cutting, and ED stuff. I was very honest, said yes I've done some but I haven't done others- specifically...

um sure I didn't want a drink. Of course, you never ever are passive aggressive, so, ya know, going to the store and getting 3 drinks when they are buy 2 for $3 instead of $2 each therefore paying more money, and making it explicitly clear I did not get one (saying directly to z, with back turned aw...

frustrated
annoyed
like an outsider
silenced

FUCKIN HELL YOU DON'T FUCKING GIVE UP, I TRY TO FUCKING APOLOGIZE FOR EXPRESSING MY FRUSTRATION AT THE WRONG TIME. YOU DIDN'T HEAR THE FIVE TIMES I SAID IT AND KEPT POINTING TO THE FACT THAT IT WAS A BAD TIME- I POINTED THAT OUT RIGHT AWAY AND FUCKING APOLOGIZED- WHY THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT HEAR THAT :...

part of me is glad you are experiencing what I was experiencing last year, since you believed my experience was not even worth your time to say "that sucks." I wish I could act toward you the way you acted toward me- I can't bring myself to do it though- I'm not that evil even though you think that ...

I'm alive

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I'm not doing ok, I've dug my "everything is just fine" mask out. I'm sorry

^ gives chey some ear plugs

i am... vile, destruction, hurt, pain, worthless, a burden i am not... nice, someone who should be called a friend, helpful, beautiful, kind i feel... hopeless i want... to not care, to die i need... to stop hurting everyone i love, give others love instead of pain. i have... i don't know, nothing, ...

Why/how can you keep in contact after you found out the truth? I'm your daughter he's not