bus

sleepy, content.

no thoughts of self-destructive behaviors.

groggy,tired,numb

i gave up my implament
i didn't cut
i kept my contract
i felt my feelings
i allowed myself to just be, even though it was not comfortable

TIRED

c-thanks for being there and saving/helping me again l-i wish that i could just confess that life (feelings/emotions) sucks and i hate it d-f*ck you m-uuuggghhh j-you think that the world revolves around you, it doesn't t-you think it's all about you and don't care about what or why i feel that way ...

my feelings sluggishness, tiredness, and out of itness would i'm prove if i ate something healthy and took a relaxing bath. my feelings of numbness, frustration, anger would improve if i stopped feeling sorry for myself.

uuuuggggghhhhhh.......anxious.......happy........content.....

i didn't b/c
-i don't want to start over, almost at 1 year free
-i need to feel and deal with the emotions and not store them and use them negatively
-b/c i know that i can do better and people DO care for me even though it may not feel like it

frustrated.....not in my body and out of place.........anixous, inside my head and not outside with a moving of the foot or of crossing and uncrossing of legs (a result of higher dosage of anixiety meds)......happy that it's the weekend and not have to worry about getting things done.

t-i wish that you wouldn't freak about my SI. i wish that you wouldn't ask why? and just accept
that it's who i am and a coping mechanism for me, like drinking is for you. i wish that you wouldn't push
up my sleeves ask where today.......

my negative thought and feelings would improve if i can distract myself by coloring, going out, watching a movie

so this week has been BAD..... the postive thing of this week.....NO CUTTING at all!!!! next comment, only , will be small in case you don't want to read ****triggers:sh,od although there was overmedicating, driving excessively, and texting while driving(illegal in ca) work=ok drama and emotional is...

i noticed that there is continual chronic pain forum, random little forums for people want individual things(ie:hugs,comfort,unsafe) BUT not a place to just vent what is going on for you at the moment. i placed a topic and post in the "place" but no responses..... :cry: don't know if i need to give ...

I'm proud of myself today b/c................
......i went to see my psychatrist even though i
had intentions of not going. up till one hour before hand.

YES INDEED, FUCK MEN!

They only screw you over to then in trn do it again.
Why is that????????

FFFFFFUUUUUCCCCKKKKKK Them!

I would be with a woman ANY day.
They have all their "shit" together.

i think that consciencly or not sonciencly and your not siing you are giving it up. i like what the prophet has to say. when i read this post i first thought that i knew what "type" of person i was, that i was giving up my addiction. but after reading what other have to say and thinking about it, th...

tired, will go to bed
anixous, write on bus
want to si, know that i don't need to, people love me for me
want to over med, know that i can live and deal without doing it
frustrated, verbalize and/or write
angry, take time for me.read.

life sucks and is so fucked up! let's see where should i begin?........ ....with my immediate family and aunt and cousins hearing me call my niece a BRAT and having her never be anything but angel except the other day, and not her fault, she is only 2. ......one of my jobs literally reducing my hour...

CONGRATS Neviah!!