bus

PLEASE LISTEN TO MY SILENT SCREAM.... PLEASE DON'T TREAT ME LIKE THIS... PLEASE DON'T SHUT ME OUT... I NEED YOU... EVEN IF I HAVE NO WORDS... FUCK IT... PLEASE LISTEN...

worthless. tired. worthless.

I am freaked that you'll leave me even tho we're married and I'm scared to tell you that I cut beacuse I don't want to hurt you again and have you offer to make me cut you... I'm scared that I cry too much and that I'm no fun anymore.... why do you keep talking about God... i know fucking God... I'm...

beacuse I tried to study.

I didn't want my boyfriend to have to know about it again and I knew he'd find out.

I feel tired and sad... and like I need to hurt something.

I am going to slowly get ready for bed (it's already 12:14 over here) and try to get up early and run in the morning before class at eight.

stressed, on the edge of a panic attack, ugly, and in pain

I will get ready for work and look all nice, and get starbucks on the way to work to wake me up.

Name: Elizabeth Are you currently trying to stop or reduce SI: stop If so what is your motivation: to be strong without the help of self abuse Favorite coping skills: tv... Coping skills that work the least: ignoring it Safe places you can go: homers. or coffee. Identify stressors (be specific as po...

why, damn you, do you have to like someone else... and flirt with her... and ignore me???

I'm bawling... and sick of it.

unfortently I'm new to this...
and the whole plans thing is like... insane in my mind.
see, the first person I ever told about my SI was this guy... and he totally accepted me and was there for me, you know, the person you could call at 3AM type thing.
so a plan...
does anyone have any ideas?

* have you taken care of your physical wounds? if not, go do that now. we'll wait. yes * what had happened just before? watching my best friend flit with the guy I've liked for three years... feeling very alone and scared and like I couldn't turn to either of them or go home. * what were you thinkin...

I wish I could learn to love myself.

I'm worried that something will fall out and I won't be able to afford college and that I won't have a car to drive to work.
And I'm worried that he'll leave me for my best friend.

It's like you're a drug It's like you're a demon I can't face down It's like I'm stuck It's like I'm running from you all the time And I know I let you have all the power It's like the only company I seek is misery all around It's like you're a leech Sucking the life from me It's like I can't breath...

I'm worried that I can't stop SA
And that my best friends will let me leave them.
and that my dad will get disappointed in me again.
I'm worried that I'll never quite recover from SU thoughts.

Name: Liz Are you currently trying to stop or reduce SI: Wanting to stop If so what is your motivation: being "normal", able to swim and tank-tops Favorite coping skills: running (can't now tho beacuse of stuff), talking Coping skills that work the least: wearing myself out, I just get more tired an...

exhausted, worn out, in tears.

going to take deep breaths and keep talking to my friend. and then go to bed and sleep before I have to go to work.
and clean my room. like hell.