Search found 22 matches

by early
Wed May 14, 2014 9:24 pm
Forum: before and after
Topic: early's B&A Extravaganza
Replies: 15
Views: 907

Re: early's B&A Extravaganza

Before Why do I feel I need to hurt myself? What has brought me to this point? I'm feeling sick to my stomach from anxiety after telling my friend about what I've been going through lately, and nervous about a meeting I'm supposed to be at tonight. I'm also feeling... judged, because of something my...
by early
Mon Apr 28, 2014 2:23 pm
Forum: before and after
Topic: early's B&A Extravaganza
Replies: 15
Views: 907

Re: early's B&A Extravaganza

Before Why do I feel I need to hurt myself? What has brought me to this point? I had a really awful weekend, and I couldn't SI at all to cope with it, and I... kind of feel like I've earned it. (That sounds terrible. I'm a terrible person.) Have I been here before? What did I do to deal with it? How...
by early
Thu Apr 24, 2014 9:42 pm
Forum: before and after
Topic: early's B&A Extravaganza
Replies: 15
Views: 907

Re: early's B&A Extravaganza

Okay, giving the after questions a try. May not stick with them, but I need something to do right now. TW: *lang* After have you taken care of your physical wounds? if not, go do that now. we'll wait. As much as I plan to. what had happened just before? Just before I took a shower in anticipation of...
by early
Thu Apr 24, 2014 2:59 pm
Forum: before and after
Topic: early's B&A Extravaganza
Replies: 15
Views: 907

Re: early's B&A Extravaganza

Thanks for the suggestions. I hadn't really connected soothing to taking care of my senses, but of course that's what it is, and that's much easier to get a grip on.
by early
Thu Apr 24, 2014 3:13 am
Forum: before and after
Topic: early's B&A Extravaganza
Replies: 15
Views: 907

Re: early's B&A Extravaganza

Before Why do I feel I need to hurt myself? What has brought me to this point? I'm scared. I'm scared of never getting better, I'm scared of getting better, I'm scared that I deserve all of the pain that I feel on a near-daily basis. I'm scared that everyone in my life resents me. I'm scared that I ...
by early
Tue Apr 22, 2014 1:04 am
Forum: before and after
Topic: early's B&A Extravaganza
Replies: 15
Views: 907

Re: early's B&A Extravaganza

treasure, I just wanted to let you know that I really appreciate your responding to my posts. I won't always get around to responding to your responses, but they give me something to think about when I'm struggling, so thank you.
by early
Tue Apr 15, 2014 2:44 pm
Forum: before and after
Topic: early's B&A Extravaganza
Replies: 15
Views: 907

Re: early's B&A Extravaganza

Before Why do I feel I need to hurt myself? What has brought me to this point? I'm... not sure? I think I might want to prove that I can, to see if it still works, because I want to see blood, because I want to, period, not because I need to. I've been through a lot in terms of trying to take care o...
by early
Tue Apr 08, 2014 6:02 pm
Forum: before and after
Topic: early's B&A Extravaganza
Replies: 15
Views: 907

Re: early's B&A Extravaganza

Before Why do I feel I need to hurt myself? What has brought me to this point? I freaked out over all of the talking I did yesterday, and I'm emotionally exhausted, and I'm realizing that I can't just talk to someone once and have it be over; I'm going to have to do it again and again and again and ...
by early
Tue Apr 08, 2014 2:01 am
Forum: coping
Topic: Secrets Thread - Read first post!
Replies: 573
Views: 95823

Re: Secrets Thread - Read first post!

I think I might feel just a tiny bit of hope.
by early
Tue Apr 08, 2014 1:59 am
Forum: coping
Topic: I'm proud of myself today because...
Replies: 39
Views: 19165

Re: I'm proud of myself today because...

I told someone about my recent struggles with SI/SU. I am going to tell someone else before the day is over.
by early
Sun Apr 06, 2014 4:53 pm
Forum: coping
Topic: Right now I feel... Version 3.0
Replies: 1089
Views: 121965

Re: Right now I feel... Version 3.0

Invisible.

Hopeless.
by early
Thu Mar 27, 2014 3:56 pm
Forum: before and after
Topic: early's B&A Extravaganza
Replies: 15
Views: 907

Re: early's B&A Extravaganza

Treasure, thanks for sharing your thoughts. I've done just the tiniest bit of CBT before, but it was a long time ago, and it was presented in a pretty subtle way, so it was helpful at the time but I didn't really retain the skills enough to apply it to other situations. I think you're probably right...
by early
Wed Mar 26, 2014 4:29 pm
Forum: before and after
Topic: early's B&A Extravaganza
Replies: 15
Views: 907

Re: early's B&A Extravaganza

Before/Maybe Hopefully Instead Why do I feel I need to hurt myself? What has brought me to this point? I don't know. I'm feeling really keyed up, I think because of the whole e-mail sending/receiving/responding/chat-meet-up thing. My heart is beating really fast and I'm so incredibly uncomfortable, ...
by early
Mon Mar 24, 2014 1:48 am
Forum: before and after
Topic: early's B&A Extravaganza
Replies: 15
Views: 907

Re: early's B&A Extravaganza

Before/Maybe Hopefully Instead Why do I feel I need to hurt myself? What has brought me to this point? I was triggered by the feeling of healing cuts that I can still feel but are no longer painful, and I can't stop thinking about how I want them to hurt again. Have I been here before? What did I do...
by early
Mon Mar 24, 2014 1:31 am
Forum: before and after
Topic: early's B&A Extravaganza
Replies: 15
Views: 907

early's B&A Extravaganza

Hi all. I'm tentatively willing to explore urges/triggers/motivations, so I'm giving before and after a try. Responses/challenges are generally welcome but not expected. I'm just trying to get some of this out of my head and into another format.
by early
Fri Mar 21, 2014 4:22 pm
Forum: administrivia and technical support
Topic: Error message when trying to log in
Replies: 13
Views: 12165

Re: Error message when trying to log in

I'm also excited to see it back up, and I'm guessing some hard work went into making that happen, so thanks!
by early
Mon Mar 10, 2014 3:20 pm
Forum: coping
Topic: Right now I feel... Version 3.0
Replies: 1089
Views: 121965

Re: Right now I feel... Version 3.0

Overwhelmed by the number of steps required to do the laundry today. And scared about things later in the week.
by early
Thu Mar 06, 2014 6:25 pm
Forum: coping
Topic: Need new coping skills
Replies: 4
Views: 503

Re: Need new coping skills

Just Pomegranates, your suggestion of putting coping-related stuff in a box reminded me of a file I've had floating around in Evernote for a while now on how to make a coping skill toolbox, but I haven't gotten around to actually making one (it feels stupid to me, which I know I need to get over). T...
by early
Thu Mar 06, 2014 4:04 am
Forum: coping
Topic: Secrets Thread - Read first post!
Replies: 573
Views: 95823

Re: Secrets Thread - Read first post!

I want to talk to the people I'm closest to (my wife, my pastor, my one or two friends) about my SI, but I don't know what words to use, I don't trust that they would react in a constructive way, and I know that even though these are the people I'm closest to, they don't think of me as people they'r...
by early
Thu Mar 06, 2014 3:59 am
Forum: coping
Topic: Need new coping skills
Replies: 4
Views: 503

Re: Need new coping skills

My coping skills toolbox is basically empty, so I'll share with you the only one I've got (and it's not the best, as far as coping skills go, but it's higher up the ladder than SI): take a (non-habit-forming over the counter) sleeping pill and go to bed and hope that this will pass overnight. That's...