Search found 43 matches

by bearcat
Wed Oct 12, 2016 7:41 am
Forum: coping
Topic: Last time I wanted to SI, I didn't because...
Replies: 41
Views: 18309

Re: Last time I wanted to SI, I didn't because...

it's not going to change anything

I should find a better way to express my anger.
by bearcat
Tue Sep 29, 2015 3:11 am
Forum: coping
Topic: What song describes how you're feeling?
Replies: 69
Views: 35717

Re: What song describes how you're feeling?

Covert discretion in a hotel room Ain't it always the same Another gig now, got an achin' head And I'm back on display Ain't no thing though, all the fans agree, we killed it tonight Back at the hotel, watching CNN, still scared for my life So where is the party going on? It's no fair to make me sta...
by bearcat
Fri Aug 14, 2015 5:27 am
Forum: coping
Topic: Things Left Unsaid *LA* v. 6
Replies: 299
Views: 79068

Re: Things Left Unsaid *LA* v. 6

You can't see things from my perspective- how it might feel to be confronted with you acting as a "we" and having a good time, and how it might feel to be judged for my choices. I have no idea what to think about it... maybe you did sincerely feel that I was an inconvenience. You act like I'm suppos...
by bearcat
Mon Jun 22, 2015 1:49 pm
Forum: coping
Topic: Things Left Unsaid *LA* v. 6
Replies: 299
Views: 79068

Re: Things Left Unsaid *LA* v. 6

It pisses me off that you said I shouldn't take it on myself, and then you say that "relationships should add something to your life" You created conditions that made everything far harder than it needed to be for me. And don't tell me that you would have been okay if I was okay- you have never mast...
by bearcat
Tue Jun 16, 2015 9:44 am
Forum: coping
Topic: Things Left Unsaid *LA* v. 6
Replies: 299
Views: 79068

Re: Things Left Unsaid *LA* v. 6

You changed my life. I think I've changed yours too. But you can't handle that. There's room here for your thoughts, feelings, needs. You're good enough here, and I see that you have a lot to offer. You can do things for me. I want to do things for you. Right now I can give you what you need by bein...
by bearcat
Mon Jun 15, 2015 12:06 am
Forum: coping
Topic: Things Left Unsaid *LA* v. 6
Replies: 299
Views: 79068

Re: Things Left Unsaid *LA* v. 6

I told you that I think that you think I am stupid. My failure is probably incredibly unattractive, and you want to get away from me as a person. Recreating usual circumstances. But you said that you don't compare me to other people. In my head, I worry that you only find success attractive. That yo...
by bearcat
Fri May 22, 2015 11:22 pm
Forum: coping
Topic: Things Left Unsaid *LA* v. 6
Replies: 299
Views: 79068

Re: Things Left Unsaid *LA* v. 6

Going to see you soon. Hope that this can be fun. Hope that you'll feel good to be amongst people and that we'll find our level of getting along. Hoping that we'll have some 'just us' moments and that parting ways will be painless. Hoping that your guard is down but that you're not anxiously showboa...
by bearcat
Wed May 20, 2015 5:47 am
Forum: coping
Topic: Things Left Unsaid *LA* v. 6
Replies: 299
Views: 79068

Re: Things Left Unsaid *LA* v. 6

You don't want to hear my understanding of your complex situation. You don't want to hear how I feel or what I think about this. You don't want to hear me reflect on my life and what I'm going to do next. You just want to get away from me and this stressful subject and not engage with it. You're com...
by bearcat
Thu May 07, 2015 6:07 pm
Forum: coping
Topic: Things Left Unsaid *LA* v. 6
Replies: 299
Views: 79068

Re: Things Left Unsaid *LA* v. 6

Ugh, why did you have to say that? Because it sticks in my head as something that someone else would say to me and I don't even understand why- I'm guessing it was just thoughtless fun-making. This is exactly the kind of thing that's a minor trigger. I don't want to have triggers anymore. If he wasn...
by bearcat
Tue Dec 30, 2014 9:21 am
Forum: coping
Topic: Things Left Unsaid *LA* v. 6
Replies: 299
Views: 79068

Re: Things Left Unsaid *LA* v. 6

Why do I get myself into the same situation over and over I thought this was different. I've been surprised where every time I saw you, you were always new to me, you didn't bring up old fears or feelings. But you are not very good at all. And I was stupid to put myself in this situation. And now yo...
by bearcat
Sun Oct 26, 2014 3:55 am
Forum: coping
Topic: Secrets Thread - Read first post!
Replies: 573
Views: 95660

Re: Secrets Thread - Read first post!

I am really struggling here people. Can someone please answer a text? Like is it really that you're busy or am I just that annoying. What have I gotten myself into?
by bearcat
Sat Oct 25, 2014 11:10 pm
Forum: coping
Topic: Things Left Unsaid *LA* v. 6
Replies: 299
Views: 79068

Re: Things Left Unsaid *LA* v. 6

Really? That's it? Mixed messages? Ignoring me? Totally fine but don't tell me that I'm the fuck up. If that's all it took to discourage you then I really don't see the point in any of this and will consider it a huge mistake.
by bearcat
Sat Oct 25, 2014 6:12 am
Forum: coping
Topic: Things Left Unsaid *LA* v. 6
Replies: 299
Views: 79068

Re: Things Left Unsaid *LA* v. 6

Why did you have to respond that way? I was wrong but that was ridiculous. I can't understand why you would come at it that way- it wasn't fair to me. Now I feel nothing and I feel stupid for even trying this... what a crazy thing to try... Why would I think that this would work when there's barely ...
by bearcat
Sat Jun 07, 2014 8:47 am
Forum: coping
Topic: Things Left Unsaid *LA* v. 6
Replies: 299
Views: 79068

Re: Things Left Unsaid *LA* v. 6

I wish, for even a few minutes, you could feel what it's like to be me. Maybe then you'd know how trapped I feel, and how confused I am. How none of my emotions even make sense. How I "get something out of" little by little killing myself. How it's oddly satisfying. Maybe you'd get a sense of how mu...
by bearcat
Thu Feb 20, 2014 11:32 am
Forum: administrivia and technical support
Topic: get to know the board staff
Replies: 12
Views: 21296

Re: get to know the board staff

I have no idea what to say, so I am cribbing the format from swirlish! :olol: You can call me bearcat (or just bear...). I'm in my 30s and I live in Canada- in a huge city now ( the huge city, really 8)) I have been recovered from SI for a long time now, with only unremarkable slips, but BUS is kind...
by bearcat
Sat Sep 14, 2013 4:38 pm
Forum: administrivia and technical support
Topic: The spam on this board is OUT OF CONTROL.
Replies: 29
Views: 21416

Re: The spam on this board is OUT OF CONTROL.

Perhaps there is another suitable person to run the board among us, programming duties and all? I'm sure that Deb would be understanding that her reduced participation has some consequences. I think that it's best to leave this an open problem, to which a more agreeable solution might be found in th...
by bearcat
Thu Aug 22, 2013 9:27 pm
Forum: administrivia and technical support
Topic: The spam on this board is OUT OF CONTROL.
Replies: 29
Views: 21416

Re: The spam on this board is OUT OF CONTROL.

I have nothing useful to add, besides to say thanks for working on this. Spam is scary.
by bearcat
Sat Apr 27, 2013 11:20 am
Forum: coping
Topic: the most extreme thing you've ever done (to fix your life)?
Replies: 19
Views: 1830

Re: the most extreme thing you've ever done (to fix your lif

I really like this thread. You are all really smart, inspiring survivors, you know? :1love: I got out of my parents house early. I quit drinking and drugs. I quit a hurtful social group of people who didn't really like me. I quit a secure job and went to school, although it broke my heart to leave p...
by bearcat
Tue Oct 11, 2011 8:55 am
Forum: administrivia and technical support
Topic: deleting workshop thread
Replies: 1
Views: 1134

deleting workshop thread

Can someone please delete my workshop thread?

http://buslist.org/phpBB/viewtopic.php?f=37&t=152920

Thanks.
by bearcat
Sun Aug 28, 2011 2:01 am
Forum: administrivia and technical support
Topic: policy on replacing absent mods
Replies: 7
Views: 2094

Re: policy on replacing absent mods

I wasn't posing this question because I perceive there to be problems. I was more thinking that perhaps areas of the board would benefit from positive attention that could be provided by active mods. It is nice that when you post in an area, that even if you don't get a lot of other members involved...