Since you ask, most days I cannot remember. I walk in my clothing, unmarked by that voyage. Then the almost unnameable lust returns. |
--Anne Sexton |
In spite of the title, there is no shame here. If you cause physical harm to your body in order to deal with overwhelming feelings, know that you have nothing to be ashamed of. It's likely that you're keeping yourself alive and maintaining psychological integrity with the only tool you have right now. It's a crude and ultimately self-destructive tool, but it works; you get relief from the overwhelming pain/fear/anxiety in your life. The prospect of giving it up may be unthinkable, which makes sense; you may not realize that self-harm isn't the only or even best coping method around.
For many people who self-injure, though, there comes a breakthrough moment when they realize that change is possible, that they can escape, that things can be different. They begin to believe that other tools do exist and begin figuring out which of these non-self-destructive ways of coping work for them. This site exists to help you come closer to that moment.
How do you know if you self-injure? It may seem an odd question to some, but a few people aren't sure if what they do is "really" self-injury. Answer these questions:
If you answer #1 and #2 yes, you are a self-injurer. If you answer #3 yes, you are most likely a repetitive self-injurer. The way you choose to hurt yourself could be cutting, hitting, burning, scratching, skin-picking, banging your head, breaking bones, not letting wounds heal, among others. You might do several of these. How you injure yourself isn't as important as recognizing that you do and what it means in your life.
Self-injurious behavior does not necessarily mean you were an abused child. It usually indicates that somewhere along the line, you didn't learn good ways of coping with overwhelming feelings. You're not a disgusting or sick; you just never learned positive ways to deal with your feelings.
Please try to make yourself safe before proceeding; some of these pages contain material that may temporarily intensify the urge to self-harm in some people. If you are struggling with the impulse to self-injure right now, you may want to skip directly to the self-help section. If you're new to the concept of self-injury and don't know where to start, try this quick primer on SI. The primer is also useful if you find some of the other pages here too technical.
Site news -- updated 18 December 02
NOTE: "What self-injury is" and "Personal Quotes" contain potentially distressing material. If you self-injure now or have in the past, please make yourself safe before reading these sections; they may temporarily intensify your urge to self-harm.
bodies under siege email support list for people who have concerns about self-injury (open to people who do or have done self-injury, therapists, friends, etc). |
#bus -- a private, password-protected bodies-under-siege Internet Relay Chat (IRC) channel with a java interface. A safe place to talk about things consequential and silly with other people who have used or do use self-harm as a coping mechanism. Please abide by the guidelines. |
Real-world resources in the US, Canada, UK, and Australia. |
|
non-bus list for friends/family members/etc of people who self-injure |
Reader survey: your comments and suggestions help me know where to take this page in the future. |
Feedback via email is always welcome. |
Download text version of all pages on this site (zipped; last updated 4 Aug 01) |
Read reviews of and buy books on self-injury and other books referenced on this site through amazon.com.
View My Guestbook | |
Sometimes I am asked how people can financially support this page. Although I will never charge anyone for the services and information provided through this site and the bus email list, I have set up an Amazon Honor System box to accommodate people who want to contribute.
Thanks to Matt and Gwenneth Sheahan, former proprietors of palace.net, who donated space for this project for six years; Soren Dayton; Alan Jaffray; Ruth Herman-Dunn; Tammy Bucklew, RN; Kharre; and all of the members, past and present of the bodies-under-siege community, whose courage makes me proud to know them.
bodies
under siege web ring
| skip prev | prev | next | skip next | | next 5 | random | list sites | |
|
Let the truth ring out!
| next | skip | next 5 | prev | skip back | |